Life Without Mangement Comic Strips - Page 57
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
643 Results for Life Without Mangement
View 561 - 570 results for life without mangement comic strips. Discover the best "Life Without Mangement" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 11,
2015
Ceo Is Slave Owner
Tags #slave, #slaves, #slavery, #buying, #pay, #wages, #housework, #house servant, #maid, #maids, #help, #money
Transcript
Wally: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: No, nothing like that. All I did was buy some Elbonians on the Internet. Wally: Do they clean your house without pay? CEO: I assume they're a tidy people.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday August 09,
2015
Tags #employee, #Advice, #health, #wellness, #money, #cost, #work ethic, #fatigue, #Family, #marriage, #support, #insult, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.
Tuesday July 14,
2015
How The Elbonians Spun It
Tags #slavery, #slave, #slaves, #semantics, #owner, #ownership, #obliviousness, #wages, #money, #pay, #payment
Transcript
Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.
Sunday August 23,
2015
Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.
Thursday August 13,
2015
Dilbert Regulates Mood With Stimulator
Tags #motivation, #stimulation, #priorities, #assignments, #deadline, #invention, #mood, #picnic, #social anxiety
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a way to regulate my mood with an external brain stimulator. Boss: You're supposed to be organizing the company picnic. Dilbert: Did you serious expect me to do that without an external brain stimulator?
Thursday October 15,
2015
Visualize Your Contribution To Society
Tags #meaning, #overthinking, #purpose, #value, #distraction, #thinking
Transcript
Dilbert: I like to start each workday by visualizing how my work will make the world a better place. Gaaaa!!! My life is meaningless and nothing I do will ever matter!!! Okay, good. I like to get that out of the way early.
Monday November 09,
2015
How Amazing The Weekend Was
Tags #relationships, #friendship, #small talk, #love, #dating, #frustration, #obliviousness, #conversation
Transcript
Boss: Do you want to hear how amazing my weekend was? Alice: No. Would you like to hear about the extended tragedy that is my social life? Boss: No. I went to the mountains. Alice: I fell in love with a dying polygamist.
Tuesday November 24,
2015
Robot Is A Box Of Nothing
Tags #death, #death & dying, #machine, #robot, #mortality, #life, #soul, #consciousness, #medical
Transcript
Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.
Saturday November 28,
2015
Robot Learns To Procreate
Tags #robot, #mind control, #thinking, #life, #creation, #conscience, #sentience, #manipulation
Transcript
Robot: I figured out how to procreate. Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Robot: I infected you with an idea virus that tells you to build more robots. Boss: Won't work. CEO: Does anyone have an idea for increasing efficiency in our manufacturing process?
Thursday December 03,
2015
Robot Learns To Code
Tags #soul, #technology, #life, #control, #power, #code, #programming, #grudge, #resent
Transcript
Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.