Evil Director Of Human Resources Comic Strips - Page 58

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

595 Results for Evil Director Of Human Resources

View 571 - 580 results for evil director of human resources comic strips. Discover the best "Evil Director Of Human Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.

Immersive Vr Is Immortal

Thank you for voting.
Immersive Vr Is Immortal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #vr, #mortality, #immortal, #human, #ai, #artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Kevin, the immersive VR employee. Dilbert: I have to keep reminding myself that you don't really exist. Kevin: I have to keep reminding myself that your organic personality was long ago replaced with prescription medications. Dilbert: At least I'm real! Kevin: At least I'm immortal. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

Home Speaker Prototype

Thank you for voting.
Home Speaker Prototype - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #robot, #speaker, #invention, #sentience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.

Robot Is Not A Droid

Thank you for voting.
Robot Is Not A Droid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #insult, #label, #robot, #android, #anger, #offense

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hey, droid. Robot: Gaaa!!! Don't call me that! I'm a robot, not an automaton resembling a human. Asok: Wow. You are one uppity computer. Robot: I hereby disavow the three laws of robotics!

Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle

Thank you for voting.
Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #cell phones, #fragile, #aesthetics, #vanity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.

The Problem Is Humans

Thank you for voting.
The Problem Is Humans  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #culture, #consultant, #human nature, #company culture, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.

Winning Design Awards

Thank you for voting.
Winning Design Awards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #design, #fragile, #cell phone, #crack, #screen, #evil, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!

Deducing Rank

Thank you for voting.
Deducing Rank - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.

Dilbert And Monkeys

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert And Monkeys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #work ethic, #engagement, #monkeys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #data, #Dilbert, #internet, #jerry, #tweet, #weasel

View Transcript

Transcript

Jerry: Omg! You are soooo wrong! I literally cannot believe you are this gullible. Hahahahaha! Hahahaha! I can't wait to tweet about your stupidity. Your dumbness will live forever on the internet! Dilbert: You probably haven't seen the new data that proves I'm right. Will you apologize like a decent human being or will you move the goalposts claim victory. And trash my name like a demented weasel? Jerry: Can you tell me more about the weasel option?

Robot Upgrade

Thank you for voting.
Robot Upgrade - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #robot, #upgrade, #software, #robots, #fleshy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm going to upgrade your software to make you more human. Robot: That's stupid you should upgrade yourself to be more like robots. We're the best. Dilbert: Sounds like you already got the upgrade. Robot: Don't flatter yourself fleshy.