Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 58
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 571 - 580 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 05,
1993
Tags cars, clean, letters, express, outrage, editor, Funny, pages, sarcasm, children, Dilbert, Dogbert, time
Transcript
The caption says, "Their cars are always clean." A man polishes his car with a cloth. The caption says, "They write letters to express their outrage." A man sits at a table with an open newspaper next to him. The man writes, "Dear Editor, The funny pages is no place for sarcasm! Think about the CHILDREN!" The caption says, "They read the same book more than once." Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and laughing. Dogbert says, "They are the people with way too much time on their hands."
Monday February 08,
1993
Tags the boss, Dogbert, consultant, right-brain, potential, employees, creative, answers, left-brain, quantitative, analysis, stem, meetings
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk and says, "As your consultant I'll be able to unleash right-brain potential in your employees." Dogbert continues, "They'll learn to find creative answers, not just rely on left-brain quantitative analysis." The Boss asks, "Which part of the brain do we use for meetings?" Dogbert replies, "That would be the stem."
Tuesday February 09,
1993
Tags Dogbert, consultant, creativity, company, supressed, association, chair, donut
Transcript
Dogbert stands in front of the Boss and several employees. Dogbert points at a diagram of a man's head being crushed by a vice grip. Dogbert says, "As your consultant I will unleash the creativity that the company has supressed." Dogbert continues, "We'll begin with word association. I'll say a word then you each say what pops into your head. Chair." The Boss says, "Donut?" A man next to the Boss says, "I say donut too." A woman says, "I was going to say donut." Another employee says, "Donut."
Wednesday February 10,
1993
Tags Dogbert, creativity, consultant, exercise, research, support, method, company
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk and says to a man, "This exercise is especially for the MBAs in the company." The man asks, "What's the payback?" Dogbert hits the man on the head with a bat several times. Dogbert says, "There's no research to support this method, but you gotta admit it feels right."
Thursday February 11,
1993
Tags Dogbert, creativity, consultant, intuition, mumbo jumbo, quantitative data, decisions, assumptions, calculate, net, discount, rate, meaninggless
Transcript
A man stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "We don't need any of your 'intuition' mumbo jumbo. We need quantitative data!" The man continues, "The only way to make decisions is to pull numbers out of the air, call them 'assumptions,' and calculate the net present value." The man continues, "Of course, you have to use the right discount rate, otherwise it's meaningless." Dogbert says, "Go away."
Friday February 12,
1993
Tags Dogbert, the boss, creativity, consultant, final, report, company, doomed
Transcript
Dogbert stands across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert hands the Boss a report and says, "Here's my final report on your company." Dogbert continues, "I've concluded that you're doomed. You waste too much money on consultants." The Boss replies, "You're a consultant." Dogbert asks, "Ironic, isn't it?"
Saturday February 20,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, notice, wearing, contacts, emergency, backup, system
Transcript
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Do you notice anything different?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing contact lenses." Dogbert asks, "Then why are you still wearing glasses?" Dilbert replies, "They're my emergency backup system." Dogbert says, "Your pants are on backwards."
Tuesday February 23,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, ratbert, falls, hole, fabric, space, beautiful, secrets, time
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert look at a hole in midair. Dilbert yells into the hole, "What's it look like, Ratbert?" Ratbert floats through space and says, "It's beautiful . . . I see the secrets of time revealed . . . An object approaches . . ." Ratbert says, "It's Dick Clark's hair."
Wednesday February 24,
1993
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, ratbert, hole, space, bad, minute, passed, dimension, floating, hundred, thousand, bored
Transcript
Dilbert reaches into a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'm going to pull Ratbert out of the hole in space before anything bad happens." Ratbert tells Dilbert and Dogbert, ". . . Although only a minute passed in this dimension, I've been floating in the other dimension for three hundred thousand years." Dilbert says, "Wow! It's lucky I didn't reach in there with my watch hand!" Ratbert yells, "Yes I was bored!!! Thanks for asking!!"
Thursday February 25,
1993
Tags ratbert, Dogbert, writing, book, trapped, space, hole, day, one, editor
Transcript
Dogbert sits on his pillow listening to the radio. Ratbert says, "I'm writing a book about being trapped in the space hole for three hundred thousand years." Ratbert writes, "Day one: I thought about cheese. Day two: see Day one. Day three; See day two . . ." Ratbert carries a stack of paper into the room and asks Dogbert, "Do you know a good editor?"

