Help Request Line Comic Strips - Page 58

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

636 Results for Help Request Line

View 571 - 580 results for help request line comic strips. Discover the best "Help Request Line" comics from Dilbert.com.

Exposition

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #brain, #nanotechnology, #microchip, #ego, #storytelling, #exposition

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #group project, #dependability, #failure, #psychic, #prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need your feedback on my PowerPoint deck before Tuesday. Man: I'll do that on Monday night. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's a trap! You are notoriously undependable. The odds of you working on a Monday night are terrible. If I don't get your input on time, you will make a fool out of me in the meeting. I'll stay up all night Monday hoping to get your email. But that input will never come. I'll end up doing the presentation on no sleep. Then you will embarrass me during the presentation by pointing out the errors in my slides. Man: For a mind reader, you sure have a terrible life.

Alice Helps Asok With Slides

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Helps Asok With Slides  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint, #slide, #Advice, #speech

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.

The Cia Is Listening

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Cia Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #amazon, #spying, #surveillace, #paranoid, #privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Hello. I am a bluetooth speaker and your digital assistant. How may I help you? Man: Just shut up and sit there until I need something. Robot: Did you say" Give the CIA access to your microphone?" Man: Please, no. I'll do anything you want.

Ideal Customer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ideal Customer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #market research, #sham, #yes-man, #demographics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.

Pat Yourself On The Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pat Yourself On The Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reward, #prizes, #reimbursement, #expense report

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm naming you employee of the month. Your prize is twenty dollars cash and a pat on the head. Give yourself twenty dollars and submit an employee reimbursement request. Dilbert: Can I pat myself on the head, too? Boss: I was hoping you would offer.

Helping The Boss Be Successful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping The Boss Be Successful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #helpfulness, #niceness, #kindness

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.

False Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
False Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #backhanded compliment, #liar, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone at work thinks I'ma liar because of a false rumor. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't a liar. Dilbert: Thank you. That does help. Dogbert: I see you as more of an idiot. And you're welcome.

Can We Borrow An Apron

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can We Borrow An Apron  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pr, #public relations, #appearances, #homeless, #soup kitchen, #shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We're here to get a photo of my client serving food to the homeless. Man: We don't need any help. Dogbert: In that case, can we borrow an apron and a spoon? Man: Um... I guess so. Dogbert: And can you wipe some gruel on the apron?

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiating, #deception, #sales, #manipulation, #deal, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!