Computer Programmers Comic Strips - Page 58
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646 Results for Computer Programmers
View 571 - 580 results for computer programmers comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Programmers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 13,
2012
Tags astronomy, billions of planets, scientists, version of dilbert, earth like, many universes
Transcript
Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday March 26,
2012
Tags computer software, competitor, software, entice people, buy products, freemium startegy, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Our competitor just bought ten million copies of our software. Boss: Huh? Dilbert: They plan to give it away for free to entice people to buy their own product that has more features. We'll be part of their freemium strategy. Boss: That's just showing off.
Thursday April 05,
2012
Tags computer software, free software, run slow, upgrades, office, cubicles, free
Transcript
Dogbert: Want some free software? Boss: What's it do? Dogbert: All it does is beg you for upgrades. And if you upgrade, then it begs you to upgrade again and so on. And it makes all of you other software run slow. Boss: And it's free?
Tuesday April 17,
2012
Tags inventions, quantum computer, prototype, success, in between state
Transcript
Boss: How's your quantum computer prototype coming along? Wally: Great! The project exists in a simultaneous state of being both totally successful and not even started. Boss: Can I observe it? Wally: That's a tricky question.
Tuesday May 15,
2012
Tags confusing, multiple pages, public speaking, real words, small text, unpersuasive, computer, desk, no one can read, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.
Saturday July 21,
2012
Tags computer software, inventions, 3d network, motion sensors, sneezed, merged network, 15th of cisco
Transcript
In the near future Wally: I was manipulating a 3-D network model using my hand motion sensors. It was all good until I sneezed and accidentally merged my network design with my outlook calendar. Boss: When will you have that fixed? Wally: I should be done by... the 15th of Cisco.
Wednesday August 01,
2012
Tags computers & peripherals, intelligence agencies, national security, unnamed government agency, shadowy guy, create computer virus, elbonian missile factories
Transcript
Loud Howard: This shadowy guy is from an unnamed government agency!!! He wants us to create a computer virus to attach Elbonian missile factories!!! Dilbert: Is he from our government, Loud Howard? Loud Howard: Is that important?
Monday August 13,
2012
Tags sales personnel, cold calling, video chat, sales job, computer, selling on line, skype, technology
Transcript
Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.
Wednesday August 22,
2012
Tags computer software, new software product, google, created product, free, buy in
Transcript
Boss: And we're going to bet the company on our new software product. Dilbert: While you were talking, Google created that product, gave it away for free, and killed it for lack of interest. Wally: Is it too soon to take back my fake buy-in?
Monday September 03,
2012
Tags anger, apathy, computer programmers, preventer of information, business case, teamwork seminar, goldfish crackers
Transcript
Mordac: I, Mordac, the preventer of information services, reject your business case because you used the old template. Ha ha ha! I feed on your anger and frustration! And now I will eat like a king! Dilbert: Good luck with that. I've been dead on the inside since the teamwork seminar. Mordac: Sheesh. I'm living on goldfish crackers.

