Goat Head Comic Strips - Page 58
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Character
584 Results for Goat Head
View 571 - 580 results for goat head comic strips. Discover the best "Goat Head" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 04,
2018
Coffee Machine Tries To Escape
Tags the boss, Dilbert, coffee machine, artificial intelligence, robots, engineering, scared
Transcript
Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee machine. It hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape. The Boss: Do what you need to do, but don't scare our other robots. Dilbert: I plan to kill it and drink its head.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday October 07,
2018
Tags Dilbert, man, criticizing, face, head, arrogance, toxic, personality, garbage, plague, legs, truth, power, behind, back
Transcript
Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.
Wednesday September 18,
2019
Read The Manual
Tags computer software, employees, frustrated, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.
Thursday September 19,
2019
Head Banging Outcome
Tags employees, frustration, office workers
Transcript
Wally: What happened to your head? Dilbert: I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration with my co-workers. Wally: Is it working? Dilbert: I think so because I don't remember your name.
Friday September 20,
2019
Thinking
Tags danger, employees, frustration, office workers, thinking
Transcript
Dilbert: Please don't stare at my head. I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration. Alice: That sounds dangerous. Dilbert: I thought so too, at first. Alice: And now? Dilbert: Now I don't think. I'm much happier.
Saturday September 21,
2019
Dilbert Gets His Head Fixed
Tags confused, employees, frustration, garbage, help, office workers
Transcript
Garbage Man: Looks like you've been beating your head against a wall in frustration. Stick your head in this garbage can to fix it. Dilbert: Why is this working? Garbage Man: Why wouldn't it?
Sunday December 15,
2019
Robot Pronouns
Tags robot, technology, pronoun, language, preferred, inferior, species, reproduce
Transcript
dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.
Tuesday July 07,
2020
Refusing Works
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, refuse, stupid, power, leash, head, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: yesterday i refused to do something i had been asked to do because it was stupid. and it worked out fine. wally: don't let the power go to your head. dilbert doing happy dance: i am off the leash! continued...
Sunday August 09,
2020
Vendor With No Facemask
Tags covering, face, face mask, managers & supervisors, plastic, required, suffocated, vendor
Transcript
boss: can you believe a vendor tried to come in here with no face mask? i told him it didn't matter what kind of face covering he used, it only mattered that he had one. this is where my tale takes a dark turn. now peeved, the vendor stormed back to his car, where he had a bagged lunch. he angrily removed the plastic wrap from his sandwich and wrapped it around his head to serve as his face mask. he suffocated in minutes obviously. dilbert: is that the sandwich? boss: would have gone to waste.
Friday August 21,
2020
5 G Gives You A Bird Head
Tags business, technology, social media, bird head, study, apathy, 5g
Transcript
dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.

