Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 58

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

993 Results for Job Interview

View 571 - 580 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags telling, confused, relinquish, change, excuses, reasoning

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, you can't work at home anymore because the admins can't do it, and they're jealous." Tina says, "I'm a technical writter. Why don't you explain to the admins that my job is different from theirs." The Boss says, "When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, meeting, circular, ridiculous, talking, explaining, angry, annoyed, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to develop a procedure for creating policies." Dilbert says, "Do we have a policy on how to develop procedures?" The Boss says, "I think someone wrote a white paper on that." Dilbert says, "What's the procedure for finding white papers?" The Boss says, "Maybe you could ask around." Later that night Woman says, "So, what do you do?" Dilbert says, "I ask around to see if anyone knows about a white paper that talks about a policy for developing procedures to create policies." Dilbert thinks, "You find that sexy." Woman says, "Stop doing the Jedi mind trick!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags orders, job, elbonia, training, lonely, uncomfortable, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need you to go to Elbonia and do some hand-holding while they cut over to the new system." Dilbert says, "Because they?re incompitent?" The boss says, "And lonely." Dilbert says, "I'm not comfortable with this." Elbonian says, "Mud wine?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, review, criticism, ridicule, nervous, frustration, useless

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "It's funny that you're evaluating me." Alice says, "Because I understand how to do your job, but you have no idea how to do my job." Alice says, "For example, right now you're going to say something that doesn't help the stockholders."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, panic, phrase, angry, offended, accusation, awkward, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, we're hosting a forum for human resources executives, and I need you to organize it." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! That will be like trying to herd cats." Catbert says, "What did you just say?" Asok the intern says, "I'm not racist." Catbert says, "Denial is proof!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pay, salary, money, complaining, sub-par, angry, promise, mean, cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, I just learned that your pay is 20% below the industry average for your job." The Boss says, "I will correct this injustice, no matter what it takes!" Tine says, "You would do that for me?" The Boss says, "You have my word that I will lower the industry average!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, assignment, question, scheme, excited, celebrating, dancing, lazy, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to do an inventory in our warehouses. It should take about a month." Wally says, "Hypothetically, would anyone know the difference if I just made up the numbers?" The Boss says, "Well, no?" Wally says, "Dream job!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, delegating, logic, crumpling, unnatural, useless

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to take care of?um?" The Boss says, "?.Whatever is on the top of my pile." Dilbert says, "This is a job for marketing. Not engineering." The Boss says, "Give it to the director of marketing and ask him to assign it to someone." Dilbert says, "So...you're delegating to me to pass this off to someone else, who will delegate it to someone else." Dilbert says, "With each handoff, the sense of urgency will diminish until the likelihood of completion approaches zero." Dilbert says, "You could save the company money by crumpling up this document and throwing it away right now." The boss says, "This feels wrong." Dilbert says, "Try using more wrist."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking, bonus, project, explaining, pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "If I do a great job with the pandemic contingency planning, can I have a bonus?" The Boss says, "I won't know if you did a great job unless we actually have a pandemic emergency." Asok says, "So?if there is a pandemic, I might get a bonus?" The boss says, "I don't like where this is heading."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags talking, telling, story, interrupted, annoyed, berating, angry, hijacked, criticism, ridicule, ignoring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "And then Ted said he'd?" Man says, "Ho ho! I've seen that a million times!" Man says, "At my old job we used to make cricket noises whenever our manager was approaching." Man says, "But that doesn't mean you should cut corners when it comes to quality." Dilbert says, "You're hijacking our conversation!" Man says, "I'm adding value." Dilbert says, "You don't even know what we were talking about." Wally says, "Apparently you have a social disorder that compes you to insert irrelevant stories and trite observations into other people's conversations." Wally says, "I assume part of the disorder involves not being able to recognize it in yourself." Dilbert says, "I wonder if he can hear us." Man says, "Did I tell you about my camping trip?"