New York Harbor Comic Strips - Page 58
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1000 Results for New York Harbor
View 571 - 580 results for new york harbor comic strips. Discover the best "New York Harbor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 11,
2004
Tags new wireless hassock prodcut, sales people, work in teams, wear e;ectroshock, close the deal
Transcript
The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"
Wednesday February 18,
2004
Tags home theater, dvd, hd, dvr, satellite dish, mp3, widescreen, universal remote, people over, turn on
Transcript
The Boss: "My new home theater is amazing." "It's got a dvd, hd, dvr, fm, satellite dish, mp3, widescreen tv, seven speakers and a universal remote." "It's fun to invite people over so they can show me how to turn it on."
Sunday February 22,
2004
Tags new senior engineer, ready for promotion, 5 year intern, mean, unfair, poor business model, department won't grow, train new guy
Transcript
Asok: "I heard that you got approval to hire a new Senior Engineer." "As an intern, I have performed all the functions of a Senior Engineer for the past five years. I am now ready for promotion." The Boss: "I plan to hire someone from outside the company." "Must control tiny fists of intern fury." The Boss: "I have the approval to fill the Senior Engineer position but there's a ban on hiring new interns." "So, if I promote you, my empire... oops... I mean my department won't grow." Ask: "Gaaaa! My despair has turned into a searing psychological pain! Ow ow ow!" "That reminds me, I need you to train the new guy."
Wednesday March 03,
2004
Tags ytransferred, new job, secretary job eliminated, masive incompetence, resentment, anger, splitting mad, offers new job
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, two things: First, I got transferred to a new job, and that means your job here is eliminated." Carol: "Why must I suffer for your massive incompetence? You worthless pile of stinking crud!" "And the second thing?" The boss: "I'll need a secretary at the new job."
Thursday March 04,
2004
Tags sexism, witch coven, new manager, face growl, new dress code, winged monkey, called tough
Transcript
Zenox: "I'm Zenox, the new manager of this coven... I mean department." "When I am displeased I make this face and growl like the undead." Grrow-eeeahh! "The new dress code is 'winged monkey.'" Dilbert: "If a man acted like you he'd be called tough."
Friday March 05,
2004
Tags new boss, goat head, puts spell, workers, finish project, sadistic, fair, witch as boss, motivation
Transcript
The New Boss "Maybe you'll be more motivated with a goat head." "The spell won't go away until you finish your project." "She's a big improvement over our last boss." "She's sadistic, but she's fair."
Sunday March 07,
2004
Tags boss's office, employee, exciting challenges, fertilized plant, hard work done, tree grows
Transcript
Asok: "I worked nights and weekends to finish my project ahead of schedule." The Boss: "Good. Here's more work." Asok: "I don't understand. Am I being punished for working hard?" The Boss: "No, you're being rewarded with exciting new challenges." Asok: "Why does the plant grow faster when you say things like that?" The Boss: "No reason." "Stop that!" "Anyway, your annual performance review will award your hard work." Wally: That is one fertilized plant
Sunday April 11,
2004
Tags pay calculated, teal, side conversations, cilantro, head will explode, test theory, better than hoped, meeting, table, conference table, business
Transcript
"You pay will be calculated a new way." "Then I said teal isn't a color." "Shhh! no side conversations." "Multiplied by the base salary." "I think it's a spice." "No side conversations." "It's like cilantro." "I can't help it. I'm the kind of guy who needs to talk or else it feels like my head will explode." "Let's test that theory." Mmmph! "Wow, that worked out better than I'd hoped."
Sunday April 25,
2004
Tags international pop star, downloaded cd, burned guitar, poor, made no money, manager stole
Transcript
"Your last job was international pop star?" "Right." "Hey, I recognize you! I bought your new CD." "No you didn't." "When I say bought I mean downloaded." "Exactly. I didn't sell one CD. Everyone downloaded it." "Weren't you already rich?" "My business manager stole everything." "You could perform live." "Too many musicians, not enough venues." "Now do you make music for the love of it?" "I burned my guitar for heat." "I bought your new CD." "No you didn't."
Monday April 26,
2004
Tags bad attitude, new engineer, paid more, justify, smile
Transcript
"Why does the new engineer get paid more than I do? How do you justify that?" "Unlike you, he doesn't have a bad attitude." "I have a good attitude. Look at this smile. Look!" "My eyes!"


