Office Politics Comic Strips - Page 58

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View 571 - 580 results for office politics comic strips. Discover the best "Office Politics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Humans Hold Domininion

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Humans Hold Domininion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temperature, humans, nature, thermostat, robots, technology, evolution, fragility

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Dilbert: My brain won't work when the office is warmer than 72. Carol: It has to be at least 74 or I'll freeze. Robot: What's it like to hold dominion over the Earth within a narrow band of temperatures that can't coexist? Dilbert: Was that a joke? Carol: I'm too cold to think?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags election, voting, technology, fraud, cheating, vote, Politics

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Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?

Loud Howard And Tina Have A Romance

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Loud Howard And Tina Have A Romance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags romance, relationships, dating, secret, speaking, loud, shouting

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Loud Howard. Tina: We must keep our office romance a secret. Howard: I won't tell anyone about us, Tina!!!! Dilbert: You have a bad case of Loud Howard hair. But what does the extra spittle mean? Hmmm... Tina: Grrrr...

Tina's Office Romance Not A Secret

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Tina's Office Romance Not A Secret - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, relationship, dating, clues, sleuting, loud, shouting, relationships

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Alice: How's your office romance with Loud Howard coming along? Tina: How did you hear about us? Alice: He's loud and you're always covered with his spittle. Tina: I was hoping it looked like perspiration.

Company Policy About Dating

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Company Policy About Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, relationships, office romance, policy, legal issues, human resources, business

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Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworkers, workspace, noise, cubicle, open floorplan, etiquette, fingernails, toenails

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Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.

Smart People Are On Both Sides

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Smart People Are On Both Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Politics, intelligence, appearances, perspective

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Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that there are smart people on both sides of every political issue? Boss: Maybe it only seems that way to you because you're not one of the smart ones. Dilbert: Do I seem smart? Wally: I didn't realize you were trying.

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

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Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, speaking, conversation, Politics

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Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

Wally's Political Opinion

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Wally's Political Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet, social media, Opinion, Politics, knowing too much, technology

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Tina: I saw your political opinion on Facebook and now I think you're an awful person. Wally: What did you think about me before? Tina: I didn't think about you before. Wally: Sounds like I got promoted.

Deciding Which Liar You Prefer

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Deciding Which Liar You Prefer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags choosing, choices, voting, election, Politics

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Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.