Ceo Comic Strips - Page 58
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627 Results for Ceo
View 571 - 580 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 06,
2013
Tags work ethic, planned power outage, office, dedication, stupid
Transcript
Boss: There will be a planned power outage all day tomorrow. But I want all of you to come to the office and sit at your desks in case our CEO stops by. Dilbert: Because he likes it when we act stupid? Boss: It's better for everyone if we call it dedication.
Monday July 29,
2013
Tags baby, falls, game, management fast track, money, money bags, punch wessel, rescuing plastic baby, test, weasel, greed, failed test
Transcript
Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.
Thursday August 08,
2013
Tags apathy, managers & supervisors, new strategy, engineers, middle manager, glue, binds, vague objectives, business
Transcript
Carol: What did our CEO have to say? Boss: He has a new strategy, but it seems vague. Carol: What will the engineers think about it? Boss: They don't care about this stuff. Carol: What exactly does a middle manager do? Boss: We're the glue that binds the apathy to the vague objectives.
Wednesday September 18,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, innovate, google, apple, 3m, smart people, fire yourselves, business, technology
Transcript
Dogbert: Today I'll teach you how to innovate the way Apple, Google, and 3M do it. Replace all of your dimwitted employees with smart people... then fire yourselves. The rest is just blah, blah, blah. Boss: Should we be taking notes?
Monday May 05,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, mathematics, work ethic, work time, donate, 1% work time, charitable cause, 110% to job, learn math, asking employess, business
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO has asked each of us to donate 1% of our work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert: Last week you told us to give 110% to our work. Does this mean we can back off to 109%? Boss: No, you should give 110% to everything you do. Dilbert: Maybe my charitable cause could be helping you learn math.
Sunday August 10,
2014
Tags any penalty, big trouble, idiotic plan, imperfect plan, leading by example, perfect plan
Transcript
Its better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week. Yay! we're free from any penalty if we do thing wrong. um, no nothing like that. You're still in big trouble if you do anything wrong. and Im also in big trouble if I take linger to do things right? Yes. Okay , get it, Your plan is idiotic, but we should do it anyway and hot wait for you to s ay something smarter. you're leading by example nicely done. what other dumb things should we do right away?
Thursday November 20,
2014
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package
Tags avarice, compensation, executives, golden parachute, greed, money, wages
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.
Monday February 02,
2015
Succession Plan
Tags corruption, power, succession
Transcript
Catbert: Our CEO is missing, so I am activating the succession plan. You're our new CEO. The power will corrupt you in 3... 2... There it is. (The boss changes into a smelly monster)
Tuesday March 17,
2015
Have To Promote Wally
Tags bad decision, mentor, mentoring, promotions, protege, promote, vice presdient, good news
Transcript
Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?
Friday March 27,
2015
Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom
Tags economist, Promotion, jargon, babble, deception, smart people, obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.

