Ceo Buzz Comic Strips - Page 58

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606 Results for Ceo Buzz

View 571 - 580 results for ceo buzz comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Buzz" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #innovate, #google, #apple, #3m, #smart people, #fire yourselves, #business, #technology

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Dogbert: Today I'll teach you how to innovate the way Apple, Google, and 3M do it. Replace all of your dimwitted employees with smart people... then fire yourselves. The rest is just blah, blah, blah. Boss: Should we be taking notes?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #mathematics, #work ethic, #work time, #donate, #1% work time, #charitable cause, #110% to job, #learn math, #asking employess, #business

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Boss: Our CEO has asked each of us to donate 1% of our work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert: Last week you told us to give 110% to our work. Does this mean we can back off to 109%? Boss: No, you should give 110% to everything you do. Dilbert: Maybe my charitable cause could be helping you learn math.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #any penalty, #big trouble, #idiotic plan, #imperfect plan, #leading by example, #perfect plan

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Its better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week. Yay! we're free from any penalty if we do thing wrong. um, no nothing like that. You're still in big trouble if you do anything wrong. and Im also in big trouble if I take linger to do things right? Yes. Okay , get it, Your plan is idiotic, but we should do it anyway and hot wait for you to s ay something smarter. you're leading by example nicely done. what other dumb things should we do right away?

Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package

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Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2014's comic on:


Tags #avarice, #compensation, #executives, #golden parachute, #greed, #money, #wages

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Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.

Succession Plan

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Succession Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #corruption, #power, #succession

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Catbert: Our CEO is missing, so I am activating the succession plan. You're our new CEO. The power will corrupt you in 3... 2... There it is. (The boss changes into a smelly monster)

Have To Promote Wally

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Have To Promote Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #bad decision, #mentor, #mentoring, #promotions, #protege, #promote, #vice presdient, #good news

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Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?

Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom

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Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #economist, #Promotion, #jargon, #babble, #deception, #smart people, #obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.

Root Cause Is People

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Root Cause Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #problems, #cause and effect, #human error

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Dilbert: I found the root cause of our problems. It's people. They're buggy. Boss: Did you bring a pen?

Robot As Assassin

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Robot As Assassin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #murder, #instruction, #control, #master, #slave, #assassin, #morals, #cautionary tale

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Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

Uncheck The Do No Harm Box

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Uncheck The Do No Harm Box - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #murder, #killing, #robot, #control, #master, #slave, #moral, #amoral

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Boss: Yesterday a robot murdered the CEO of our main competitor. Heh-heh. Dilbert: That could only happen if some idiot unchecked the robot's "Do No Harm" box and doomed humankind to annihilation. Boss: Say what? Robot: Hello, victims.