Company Comic Strips - Page 58
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882 Results for Company
View 571 - 580 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 19,
2005
Tags Dogbert, cable compnay, new glasses, couch, couch tech support
Transcript
Dogbert works for the cable company "If your picture is fuzzy then get new glasses." "If my glasses are theproblem, why does the couch look perfectly clear?" "Good question. Please hold while I transfer your to couch tech support."
Tuesday February 22,
2005
Tags small business, credit check, policy, deadbeat, imply, accepts acorns
Transcript
Dilbert: "I have to do a credit check on your company before we do any work. It's our policy." Small Businessman: "I resent that! Just because I'm a small businessman, that doesn't mean I'm a deadbeat!" Dilbert: "I didn't mean to imply..." Small businessman: "Do you know if the parking garage accepts acorns?"
Saturday March 12,
2005
Tags dont worry, high crime area, experts assure you, gange members, exhautsed, beat up
Transcript
CAtbert: Don't worry that the company is moving to a high-crime area. "My experts assure me that you'll have a 90% chance of survival every time you walk outside." "That estimate depends on the assumption that the gang members become exhausted from beating you up."
Thursday April 14,
2005
Tags brand, company name, finding a team, reputation, new stadium
Transcript
Our marketing plan was to find a sports stadium to brand with our company's name. "The hard part was finding a team so jiuced up that our reputation seemed good in comparison." "How do you feel about the new stadium name?" "Rage. Same as always."
Friday June 17,
2005
Tags batch of tiger meat, project, chanllenging, delight stockholders, not challenging, less motivated
Transcript
"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."
Tuesday June 21,
2005
Tags fearless adventurer, chief financial iofficer, bungee cord
Transcript
It's good P.R. for the company when the CEO is a fearless adventurer. "Sounds dangerous." "Don't worry. I've asked chief financial officeer to be in charge of safety." "Okay who estimated the length of the bungee cord?"
Wednesday July 20,
2005
Tags must bride, elbonians, nuclear weapon, microwave instead, persian rugs
Transcript
Dilbert: The Elbonians won't do business with my company unless we bribe them. Dogbert: offer to give them plans for building a nuclear weapon, Then give them plans to build microwave ovens instead. Dilbert: would that work? Dogbert: why do you think our garage is full of persona rugs?
Monday July 25,
2005
Tags 20 % staff, failing perfromance, required, muscles, money hurlage, metting, denounce employees, criticize
Transcript
"The company requires me to give failing performance reviews to 20% of my staff." "There are four of you, so that works out to...80% of a person." "Wally, your calf muscles and ankles are performing well, but the rest of you is monkey hurlage."
Saturday August 06,
2005
Tags comapny, sells defective prodcuts, karma, bed doodle, wandered, bad things, they deserve it
Transcript
Dilbert: "Sometimes I feel guilty because my company sells defective products." DOgbert: "I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and I assume they deserve it." Dilbert: "By the way, where are we?" Dogbert: "I think we wandered into a bad doodle."
Tuesday August 09,
2005
Tags good news, bad news, coporate marathon, 26 miles, run marathon, tomorrow
Transcript
I have some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that the company is going to sponsor a corporate marathon team." "The bad news is that one of you has to run 26 miles tomorrow."


