Company Comic Strips - Page 58

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

882 Results for Company

View 571 - 580 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, cable compnay, new glasses, couch, couch tech support

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert works for the cable company "If your picture is fuzzy then get new glasses." "If my glasses are theproblem, why does the couch look perfectly clear?" "Good question. Please hold while I transfer your to couch tech support."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags small business, credit check, policy, deadbeat, imply, accepts acorns

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I have to do a credit check on your company before we do any work. It's our policy." Small Businessman: "I resent that! Just because I'm a small businessman, that doesn't mean I'm a deadbeat!" Dilbert: "I didn't mean to imply..." Small businessman: "Do you know if the parking garage accepts acorns?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dont worry, high crime area, experts assure you, gange members, exhautsed, beat up

View Transcript

Transcript

CAtbert: Don't worry that the company is moving to a high-crime area. "My experts assure me that you'll have a 90% chance of survival every time you walk outside." "That estimate depends on the assumption that the gang members become exhausted from beating you up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brand, company name, finding a team, reputation, new stadium

View Transcript

Transcript

Our marketing plan was to find a sports stadium to brand with our company's name. "The hard part was finding a team so jiuced up that our reputation seemed good in comparison." "How do you feel about the new stadium name?" "Rage. Same as always."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags batch of tiger meat, project, chanllenging, delight stockholders, not challenging, less motivated

View Transcript

Transcript

"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fearless adventurer, chief financial iofficer, bungee cord

View Transcript

Transcript

It's good P.R. for the company when the CEO is a fearless adventurer. "Sounds dangerous." "Don't worry. I've asked chief financial officeer to be in charge of safety." "Okay who estimated the length of the bungee cord?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags must bride, elbonians, nuclear weapon, microwave instead, persian rugs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The Elbonians won't do business with my company unless we bribe them. Dogbert: offer to give them plans for building a nuclear weapon, Then give them plans to build microwave ovens instead. Dilbert: would that work? Dogbert: why do you think our garage is full of persona rugs?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 20 % staff, failing perfromance, required, muscles, money hurlage, metting, denounce employees, criticize

View Transcript

Transcript

"The company requires me to give failing performance reviews to 20% of my staff." "There are four of you, so that works out to...80% of a person." "Wally, your calf muscles and ankles are performing well, but the rest of you is monkey hurlage."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comapny, sells defective prodcuts, karma, bed doodle, wandered, bad things, they deserve it

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Sometimes I feel guilty because my company sells defective products." DOgbert: "I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and I assume they deserve it." Dilbert: "By the way, where are we?" Dogbert: "I think we wandered into a bad doodle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good news, bad news, coporate marathon, 26 miles, run marathon, tomorrow

View Transcript

Transcript

I have some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that the company is going to sponsor a corporate marathon team." "The bad news is that one of you has to run 26 miles tomorrow."