Job Comic Strips - Page 58

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View 571 - 580 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

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I hear you're a job hopper. "I like to think I have high standards." "Are you aware that all jobs require you to do things you'd rather not do? That's why they have to pay you." "Perhaps your expectations are unrealistic." "I quit! I'm going someplace where my coworkers will never waste my time!!!"

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Maybe I'll quit this job and sell things on eBay. "What things?" "Items." "People like items." "Good plan."

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"I couldn't do any work this week because you gave Alice a bigger cubicle." "Your favoritism had a corrosive effect on my morale, thus inhibiting my effectiveness." "I'm optimistic that you'll do a better job of motivating me next week."

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"If I buy this, how can I be sure you won't come out with a newer version next week?" "I give you my word as a job-hopping commission junky with a gambling problem." "And even if we did have a newer version, it sure wouldn't fix any of the problems that this one has."

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Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."

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"I want employees who are passionate!" "GIVE ME THIS JOB OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL CUT OFF MY EAR!" "And I'm a people person."

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"Hello, tech support, my computer is frozen." "Try hanging up and slamming your hand in a drawer." "How's work?" "My average call time is down and my job satisfaction is up."

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"Wally, how do you cope with the soul-crushing futility of this job?" "One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee." "What got into you?"

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"Asok, this is Albert. He's old but we need to call him mature." "Explain to him what the computers are, but don't let him touch anything. The elderly like to fiddle." "I was a chip designer in my last job." "Really? Chocolate or poker?"

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You work in a cubicle while your routers and servers have a private office with their own climate control. "The machines have taken over. Your job is to provide them with electricity." "And do you think those electronic voting machines care about your opinion?"