Set Thing Comic Strips - Page 58

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

607 Results for Set Thing

View 571 - 580 results for set thing comic strips. Discover the best "Set Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #Dilbert, #Wally, #chatbot, #plumbing supply, #website, #sister

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I fell in love with a chatbot. We met on a plumbing supply website. I started innocently. I had a few questions about faucets. Next thing I knew, she was getting flirty. Now we chat for hours every night. Alice: That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard you creepy loser. Dilbert: Does your chatbot have a sister?

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Resistance Is Futile

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resistance Is Futile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #thoughts, #computer, #commands, #individual, #part, #collective, #internet, #sexy, #resistance, #futile

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:

Social Media Ads To Influence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #Wally, #crypto, #cryptocurrency, #game, #private key, #password, #done, #care

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How do I get a crypto wallet so I can get into the cryptocurrency game? Wally: I'll set one up for you and give you the private key and password when I'm done. CEO: I don't know how to thank you. Wally: That'll take care of itself.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #video games

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?

More Accurate Job Description

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
More Accurate Job Description - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoidance, #irritation, #lunch, #office workers, #relationships, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #government, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #math, #ocean, #research, #sarcasm, #science, #temperature, #tests

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.