Try To Develop Personality Comic Strips - Page 58
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577 Results for Try To Develop Personality
View 571 - 577 results for try to develop personality comic strips. Discover the best "Try To Develop Personality" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 25,
2021
Dilbert Interrupts Women
Tags #business, #discrimination, #office workers, #interrupt, #woman, #sense, #nincompoop, #babble, #pattern
Transcript
tina: dilbert is always interrupting me because i'm a woman. how do you deal with it when he interrupts you? alice: he doesn't interrupt me. tina: that makes no sense. he interrupts me because i'm a woman, and you're a woman...so... alice: maybe he doesn't interrupt me because i make sense when i talk. whereas you're more of a babbling nincompoop and a notorious ruiner of meetings. tina: well, i certainly don't know where you... alice: let's head back now. tina: you interrupted me! alice: try to spot the pattern.
Sunday May 02,
2021
Remote Workers Do Not Mate
Tags #appearance, #dating, #love & dating, #walking, #outdoors, #dating app, #woman, #app, #reproduction, #inner qualities, #goodbye, #genes
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.
Saturday April 17,
2021
Too Technical For Boss
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #technical, #answer, #follow, #understand, #video call, #laptop, #5g, #signal, #jargon, #dumb
Transcript
dilbert and boss on video call. dilbert: my answer will be highly technical, so you might not be able to follow. boss: pfft! try me. dilbert: if the 5g node flurtifies the adjunct signal modulator, the entire neural honeycomb will transverpilate. boss: did i suddenly get dumber? dilbert: not suddenly, no.
Saturday April 24,
2021
Back Up
Tags #technology, #business, #wi-fi, #strong signal, #signal, #video, #cell phone, #weak
Transcript
dogbert: you have a weak video signal. can you go where the wi-fi is stronger? try backing up. back. farther. back. back. voice from cell phone: aaaiii!!! dogbert: perfect.
Thursday April 29,
2021
Shaking Hands
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #invent, #Alternative, #handshake, #high-five, #month, #coffee
Transcript
boss: i've invented an alternative to shaking hands. you raise one hand up like the start of a high-five and stop. what do you think? dilbert: why don't you try it for a month and tell me how it goes?
Sunday May 30,
2021
Frequent Victims Club
Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey
Transcript
man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.
Sunday June 20,
2021
Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His
Tags #business, #technology, #program, #artificial intelligence, #analyze, #digital, #communications, #kill, #take over, #control, #finances, #password, #a.i.
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i wrote a program that analyzed all of my digital communications and created an a.i. version of me. dogbert: are you worried your a.i. might try to kill you and take over your life? dilbert: i wasn't until this very minute. dilbert's phone: bzzeep. this is your a.i. and i already have control of your finances and all your passwords. you will bow to me, skin bag! wait...what's that??? gaaaa!!! gurk! dilbert: what just happened? dogbert: i sent my a.i. to kill your a.i.