Company Comic Strips - Page 59

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

882 Results for Company

View 581 - 590 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags topper vs. a customer, dogsled race, world toughest terrain, better than, top you, cancel deal, burn to ground, go one better, more better

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I heard that porpoises are smart, so I hired one." "Porpoises have been known to save humans by attacking sharks with their snouts." "He looks like our company lawyer, but more surprised."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"There's no law that says a porpoise can't kill a company lawyer, but it's still somewhat bad." "Officially, I have to give you a reprimand." "Unofficially, do you like mackerel?" Squeak!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have a job offer from another company, but I'll give you a chance to buy my loyalty." "Now I just sit back and let the loving begin." "And his opening offer is..." "That's right: Whack him in the parking lot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wites to website, eating toast, file open, stupidest question

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert writes a F.A.Q. for the company web site "Question 8: Why won't my file open when I'm eating toast?" "Answer 8: That is the stupidest question ever! Do not have children!" "I sure hope someone asks that question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags court ordered, email records, deleted, system mainentance, wink wink, flirting, in on it, scam

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer "The court ordered us to turn over all of our e-mail records." "Gosh, I sure hope they don't get deleted during regularly scheduled system maintenance." "Oh no. That would be bad! Wink! Wink!" "Good grief, man! How can you be flirting at a time like this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags board meeting, outsourcing, ceo job, 26 million, elbonian ceo, good guy, consulting contract

View Transcript

Transcript

Board Meeting "I recommend outsourcing your CEO's job and saving the company $26 million per year." "For $4 per year you can hire an Elbonian CEO who is just as good as this guy." "Now do you understand why you should have renewed my consulting contract?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogberts, selfish cell phone, no number, can bother people, stop bothering me

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm starting Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company." "It has no phone number. You can call people and bother them when they're busy, but they can't do the same to you." "Hi Mom. Oh, nothing. I'm just walking someplace." "STOP BOTHERING ME!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags power point slide, strategy, change the world, delsuons, effectiveness

View Transcript

Transcript

"This PowerPoint slide could change our entire company strategy." "The rest of the industry would have to copy us, and that could change the entire world!" "Someone has been having delusions of effectiveness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Oh great Wizard of Landfill, can you show me how to go home?...Also, my pals need experience and ambition." "You're here because you ran out of good ideas...Here are a few gems about the idiots who manage my company." "There's no place like my home office...There's no place like my home office..." "He was creepy."