Key Employees Comic Strips - Page 59

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600 Results for Key Employees

View 581 - 590 results for key employees comic strips. Discover the best "Key Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert And Brainwashing

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Dilbert And Brainwashing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #avoidance, #employees, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Boss: Why is your employee engagement so low? Dilbert: Because I'm relatively immune to brainwashing. Boss: Okay, I didn't think you knew.

Asok's Employee Engagement

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Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #attitude, #expectations

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Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Employee Engagement Is Up

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Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #questions, #data, #measurement

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Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.

Dogbert's Self Defense School

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Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #employees, #enemies, #murder, #office workers, #training, #manipulation, #defense

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

My Last Company

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My Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #employees, #employment, #office, #office workers

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Man: That's not the way we did it at my last company. Dilbert: Now I hate you and I don't want to interact with you in any way in the future. Man: Okay, that sounds just like my last company.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #office, #office workers, #pay raise, #employee of the year

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the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.

Employee Engagement

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Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office, #time, #engagement

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the boss: i'm assigning you to work on our employee engagement initiative. dilbert: does it matter that i think that project sounds like a complete waste of time? the boss: nah.

Layoff Package

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Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Bad Hair Day

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Bad Hair Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #angry, #boss, #employees, #employment, #hair, #hairstyles, #meetings, #threat, #warning

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Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.

More People Working At Home

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More People Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #boss, #employees, #office, #office workers

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Boss: The office is too quiet today. Carol: That's because more people are working from home. Boss: How can I do my job if I can't pop into people's cubicles and share my wisdom? Second question: why is everything running so smoothly lately?