Office Buildings Comic Strips - Page 59
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1000 Results for Office Buildings
View 581 - 590 results for office buildings comic strips. Discover the best "Office Buildings" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 21,
2013
Tags big business, deception, trolls, annual budget, mystery, meeting, monsters, office, conference table, horns, business
Transcript
Boss: I'd like you to meet the two trolls who create our annual budget. Dilbert: Why do we need two of them? Troll: Because it's hard to reach into your own... Boss: Whoa! It's better to keep some mystery.
Wednesday November 13,
2013
Tags obliviousness, multitasking, lower iq, disagreement, office, desk
Transcript
Boss: Keep talking. I can multitask. Dilbert: Studies show that multitasking with interruptions can lower I.Q. by ten points. You don't have that much to spare. Boss: I disagree with whatever you said. Dilbert: I said you're competent.
Wednesday January 22,
2014
Tags answers, asked, dumb guy, formatted data, obvious in hindsight, questions, stare at me, office seeting, not enough questions
Transcript
Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?
Friday January 24,
2014
Tags executives, slapped ceo, report says, success is following your instinct, being passionate, engaged, creative, meaningful, office meeting, literal meeting
Transcript
Catbert: This report says you slapped our CEO senseless after he said they key to success is following your instinct. Alice: I was following my instinct. I was also being passionate, engaged, and creative. Catbert: Apparently the things you say actually mean stuff. CEO: How was I to know!
Thursday February 06,
2014
Tags anger, stress, alice, computer, office, always stressed out, employees, introdcutions, glass box, reactions, warning, technology, business
Transcript
Dilbert: This is Alice. You need to know two things about her. When she feels stressed-out she gets angry. Alice: Tell him the second thing! Dilbert: She's always stressed-out.
Friday February 14,
2014
Tags anger, competition (psychology), employees, difficult coworkers, methods against me, need to know, counter neasures, learn tricks, business
Transcript
Alice: Can I sign up for a workshop on how to deal with difficult co-workers? People will be using those methods against me, and I need to know how to thwart their countermeasures. Boss: Will you leave my office if I say yes? Alice: Where did you learn that trick?!!
Saturday February 15,
2014
Tags crimes, revenge, difficult co workers, jerks, jar of polonium, deal with difficulty, office, Politics, registered, dog, stool, animals
Transcript
Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to deal with difficult co-workers. Jerks will always be jerks. Your only hope is to kill them in ways that are untraceable. Boss: We need to talk. Dogbert: Each of you got a jar of polonium when you registered.
Sunday March 02,
2014
Tags obliviousness, thinking, judge them, chipmunk, judge algebra, complex and useful, innovative circuit design, engineer, office setting, desks, computers, engineering
Transcript
Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.
Tuesday March 04,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, organized as holacracy, dynamic governance, transparent operations, harnessing, conscious capacity, wander around, dynamically, business
Transcript
Boss: Now that we're organized as a holacracy, I have no idea what I should be doing. Catbert: Holacracy involves dynamic governance, transparent operations, and harnessing your conscious capacity. Boss: That sounds like "wander around." Catbert: Try to do it dynamically.
Friday April 04,
2014
Tags complaints, skunk opera, analogies, understand analogies, employees complain, office, cubicle, human relations
Transcript
Boss: Sheesh! It feels as if every employee is complaining about one thing or another today. Carol: Maybe it's because your leadership has turned this place into a skunk opera. Luckily, you don't understand analogies. Boss: That one is about singing.


