Project Zebra Comic Strips - Page 59

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

680 Results for Project Zebra

View 581 - 590 results for project zebra comic strips. Discover the best "Project Zebra" comics from Dilbert.com.

Unexpected Things Happen

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unexpected Things Happen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #project, #schedule, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: What's the latest on the software release date? Wally: We're right on time for the pre-alpha launch, unless we run into something unexpected. CEO: How often does that happen? Wally: Whenever I need it.

Just A Guy In A Box

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Just A Guy In A Box - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #existentialism, #existence, #value, #work, #use, #useful, #change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like to think the work I'm doing here will change the world. Boss: Your project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting on my calendar. Dilbert: There is, however, a non-zero chance that I"m just a guy sitting in a box.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.

Rat With An Ear On His Back

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rat With An Ear On His Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday

View Transcript

Transcript

Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."

The Government Is Listening

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Government Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #fbi, #privacy, #technology, #bug, #spying, #cell phone, #iphone, #apple

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The government asked me for an update on your project. Dilbert: I'll talk into your phone. They listen to you all day long. Boss: This is unsettling. Dilbert: Everything is on schedule!

Do Not Talk To Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #panic, #worry

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I saw you talking to my boss. Did he say anything about my project? Dilbert: Um... Ted: Your hesitant response tells me you know something and he asked you not to tell me. Dilbert: Um... Ted: Is something terrible going to happen to me? Dilbert: Um...

What The Boss Said

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What The Boss Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #accusation, #privacy, #following, #bathroom, #restroom, #personal space

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I think you know something about my project and your boss told you to keep quiet. Ha! You just confirmed it by avoiding eye contact! Dilbert: Maybe you could get your own stall? Ted: Why? What do you have to hide?

Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #secret, #gratitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.

The Entitled Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Entitled Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #millennials, #entitlement, #entitiled, #lazy, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Entitled Employee. Dilbert: Did you finish your assignment for the project? Coworker: No, I was tired, and it looked hard. I assume someone does the hard stuff for me. Am I wrong? Dilbert: I need to have a word with your parents.