Technology Comic Strips - Page 59

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

803 Results for Technology

View 581 - 590 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Recommends Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, computer software, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".

Read The Manual

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Read The Manual - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, employees, frustrated, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.

Parody Or Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, sarcasm, technology, boss, business, department, proposal, reality, parody, inversion

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Solves Too Few Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, proposal, problems, quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

Test Device Analogy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Test Device Analogy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, power drill, test, device, analogy, office

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!

Need To Retrain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, office, retrain, proposal, employees, risk, cost, work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Dogbert Designed The Simulation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Designed The Simulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, simulation, creator, three dimensional, avatar, truth, made

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i didn't want to tell you this, but you're a simulation designed by a three-dimensional creator. and i'm an avatar used by your creator to interact with your world. dilbert: i refuse to believe that is true dogbert: yep. that's how i made you

Time Travel By Printer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, presentation, technolgy, molecular, scan, body, brain, time travel, 3d print, meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Dilbert Murders Robots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Murders Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, robot, technology, human resources, bad behavior, reboot, murder, plot, erase

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.

Workflow Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Workflow Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, system, technology, training, new

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system