Computer Comic Strips - Page 59

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634 Results for Computer

View 581 - 590 results for computer comic strips. Discover the best "Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, computer programmers, code mocking, engineering tradition, software project, new engineer, mock previous engineer, engineering

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Dilbert: Are you coming to the code mocking? Asok: The what? Dilbert: Code mocking is an engineering tradition. It happens whenever a software project is handed to a new engineer. The new engineer is required to mock the previous engineer's work in a public way. We spectators get to vote on whether the old code is killed or spared. Coworker: Ha ha! His code is hilariously inefficient! Ouch. Chest pain. Dilbert: Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Coworker: Gaaa!! The code is offending my engineering sensibilities! It's killing me! Dilbert: I forgot to mention that sometimes the code wins.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, inventions, joking, remote control, shocked, stick collar, wearable computing, necklace computer

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Wally: Wearable computing is the next big thing. This is my prototype of a necklace computer. Prepare to be shocked. Dilbert: Did you just talk him into wearing a remotely controlled shock collar? Wally: People think I have no goals. click.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, inventions, space flight, experiment, reality, computer program, created by aliens, science

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Dilbert: My experiment proves our reality is a computer program created by aliens. What kind of jerks would yank us around like this? Alien Dilbert: Well, that was gonna happen... Meanwhile on Planet Epsilon-9...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, work ethic, defraying disk drive, compiling code

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Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm in the middle of defragging my disk drive. When that's done, my computer will be compiling code for a few hours. Dilbert: How's work? Wally: I hear bad things about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags actors & actresses, contests, work ethic, academy award, convincing portrayl, dishonor, nominated

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Computer: Dear Wally, You have been nominated for an academy award... for your convincing portrayal of an employee who does actual work. Dilbert: Do you think you'll win? Wally: It's a dishonor just to be nominated.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer programmers, international economic integration, unemployed, immortal, preventer of information, services, outsiurced, buzzkill

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I am immortal! Dilbert: Actually, in a few years your function will be either distributed across existing organizations or outsourced. Mordac: Well, that was a total buzzkill.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer programmers, managers & supervisors, obliviousness, code consistency, legacy systems, business

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Dilbert: What's your take on code consistency versus best practices for legacy systems? Boss; I want all of that stuff and I want it now. Dilbert: When people ask what you do for a living, what the $%@* do you say?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), computer programmers, code, writing code, conspiracy theories

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Boss: I'd like to recognize Ted for writing his part of the code in just two days. Dilbert: How many days was it supposed to take? Boss: At least a week, I would think. Dilbert: Why would you think that? Boss: Because it was so hard to do. Dilbert: Who told you it was hard? Boss: Ted did. Dilbert: All he did was delete some lines from existing code and recompile it. Ted: It was hard. Boss: See! Wally: Do you have any more crazy conspiracy theories?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, frustration, internet & world wide web, syoe, shut down, quit, drown it

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Alice: Okay, Skype. Let's see if I can figure out how to shut you down. Close! Quit! Sign out! Minimize! Quit! Yes! Close! Quit! Die! Die! Die! Dilbert: Did you close Skype. Alice: Almost. I'm heading to the ocean to drown it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, stress, alice, computer, office, always stressed out, employees, introdcutions, glass box, reactions, warning, technology, business

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Dilbert: This is Alice. You need to know two things about her. When she feels stressed-out she gets angry. Alice: Tell him the second thing! Dilbert: She's always stressed-out.