Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 59

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702 Results for Lying Down

View 581 - 590 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Launch Beta In Two Months

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Launch Beta In Two Months - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags credibility, lying, truth, beta version, laughing, problem

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Dilbert: And I plan to launch the beta version in two months. Group: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Dilbert: I have a credibility problem. Dogbert: And I should believe that?

No More Than Eight People In A Meeting

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No More Than Eight People In A Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags autobiography, executives, ghost writers, quote, quotes, co author, meetings, rules

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Dilbert: Your rule is that no more than eight people should attend a meeting, so I can't let you sit down. CEO: When did I say that? Dilbert: It was in a book you co-wrote. CEO: I knew I should have skimmed that thing. Dilbert: Your unknown co-author is quite wise.

Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident

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Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuses, lying, tardiness, traffic, vacuum, freak accident, vacuuming naked, bad traffic

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Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.

Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes

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Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothing, decision, decision-making, inventions, success, thinking, tube clothes, eliminate decisions, mark zuckerberg, gray t-short, success secrets

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Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?

Topping Our Of Category

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Topping Our Of Category - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition, hyperbole, lying, topping, sleepless, kung fu, divert asteroid, c=ollison, collision course

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Alice: I only slept three hours last night. Topper: That's nothing! I used kunk fu to divert an asteroid that was on a collision course with Earth. Alice: Topping needs to be in the same category! Topper: Only if you're bad at it! Hoo-ha!

Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract

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Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothing, dress code, fashion, human resources, obliviousness, sex appeal, sexiness, co workers, tube clothes, modifications, distarction, corduroy tube, libido killer, business

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Catbert: Your co-workers are complaining that your tube clothes distract them from work. Dilbert: I can make some modifications so I'm less sexy. That should cut down on the distraction. Catbert: We might not be on the same page. Dilbert: I could wear a corduroy tube. That's a libido killer.

Success Is About Who You Know

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Success Is About Who You Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, blaming, success, who you know

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Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, dishonest, dishonesty, honest, honesty, lying, reverse psychology, trick, trickery, noteworthy, hide evil, verbal assault, easiest lie, set up

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Boss: To be perfectly honest... Dilbert: Wait! Why do you need to say you're being honest in this particular case? You're implying that you've lied to me so often in the past that this one instance of honesty is noteworthy. That is tantamount to admitting you have no respect for me as a human being. And you don't even have the decency to hide your evil in a competent fashion! Do you think I'm such an idiot that I wouldn't notice your verbal assault on my intelligence? Okay, let's hear the one honest thing you have ever told me. Go. Boss: This is going to be the easiest lie I've ever told.

Pipe Down, Coffee Intern

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Pipe Down, Coffee Intern - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags board meeting, change, coffee, demotion, ego, ideas, Promotion, intern, new ideas

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Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.

Tina Interviews Wally For Article

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Tina Interviews Wally For Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, economist, fraud, interview, jargon, lying, website, total fraud, technology

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Wally The Economist. Tina: I have to interview you for our website. And since you are a total fraud as an economist, why don't we skip the interview and I'll invent some quotes from you? Wally: That sound economical. Tina: Don't even try.