Perfect Woman Comic Strips - Page 59
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Its better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week. Yay! we're free from any penalty if we do thing wrong. um, no nothing like that. You're still in big trouble if you do anything wrong. and Im also in big trouble if I take linger to do things right? Yes. Okay , get it, Your plan is idiotic, but we should do it anyway and hot wait for you to s ay something smarter. you're leading by example nicely done. what other dumb things should we do right away?
Dilbert: I had a great day at work for the first time ever! Don't ruin this day for me. I don't want to hear one word of negativity out of you. None. I want this to be a perfect day. Dogbert: Once again you have grossly underestimated my self-control.
Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: Is it just my simulated imagination or are all of the employees lying to me all the time? Catbert: We trained them to be that way by punishing honesty. Robot: How is you project coming along? Alice: 100% perfect! Couldn't be better!
Catbert: Ted retired yesterday and dropped dead this morning. You worked him to death with perfect timing. Nicely done/ Unless it was just a coincidence. Boss: If I'm being honest, hitting the exact day was just luck.
Woman: I like dancing and... Dilbert: I'm out. I avoid any relationship that has a risk of dancing. Woman: You're rejecting me because I like to dance? Dilbert: Yeah, it would start out all innocent... but two months into it you'd be guzzling wine and dragging me toward live music. Then you'd start doing all this... and this... and some of this... Woman: I also enjoy doing yoga to release my chakra energy. Does that bother you? Dilbert: I think I'm getting hives.
Dilbert: I noticed you eyeing my tube clothes. You're thinking I am a man who values substance over style and it turns you on. Woman: No, I'm thinking I'll date anything that has a job. Dilbert: I have one of those!
Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!
Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.
Woman: I want to be in a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. Dilbert: Marriage is a financial contract. How much money do you have? Woman: All I have is me. Dilbert: So... more vendor than spouse?
Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.