Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 59
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 581 - 590 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 01,
2008
Tags day at work, garbage pickup, holiday, interrupted, victory, tainted
Transcript
Dilbert: I had a great day at work. For come reason, no one interrupted me, so I got a lot done. Garbage man: Today is a holiday." Dilbert: All of my victories are tainted."
Tuesday December 04,
2007
Tags private moon shuttle, 3 months, doom inevitable, scapegoat, blame, project, never getting finsihed
Transcript
Dilbert: "My company wants me to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Doom is inevitable." Dogbert: "What you need is a scapegoat to blame for the project never getting finished. I'll send one over." Dilbert: "I was almost done, and then this idiot comes along."
Friday November 30,
2007
Tags tech support, original problem, crazy or liar, both, computer, technology
Transcript
Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert: "No one else has ever reported that problem." "That means you are either crazy or a liar." Man: "It's a little of both, but how did you know?" DOgbert: "I can see through your computer."
Monday November 19,
2007
Tags Dogbert, consultatnt, lies or truth, manage engineers, earthworm juggle, premium price
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dilbert: "Do you want me to lie to you for $400 per hour or give you the truth for $200?" The Boss: "I'll take the truth." Dogbert: "Okay, the problem is that having you try to manage engineers is like having an earthworm try to juggle." "How's my premium pricing option sound to you now?"
Tuesday November 06,
2007
Tags marginally useful things, ageeing, say it a certain way, tone, beat up, ripped shirt, anger, repesct, high strung, co worker
Transcript
Alice: "You should check with Ted to see if he knows about this sort of thing." Dilbert: "I'll add that to my list of marginally useful things that other people have suggested I do." Dilbert: "Apparently, agreeing isn't enough. You also need to say it a certain way."
Friday November 02,
2007
Tags customer, debunked theory, lingerie store, refrigeartor, snowtires, stomp tail, customer always right
Transcript
Ratbert: I'd like to buy some snow tires for a refrigerator. CLerK: "This is a lingerie store. Get lost before I stomp on your tail." Ratbert: "I think I debunked the theory that the customer is always right."
Thursday November 01,
2007
Tags always wrong, recommend shopping
Transcript
RatBert: I'm always wrong about everything. What can I do to fix that? Dogbert: "I recommend shopping. The customer is always right." Ratbert: "Shopping makes me smart?!!" Dogbert: "You aren't shopping yet."
Wednesday October 31,
2007
Tags bitter, unsuccessful scietists, lazy journalists, toddlers thrive, pollution
Transcript
Rent a Weasel. Dogbert: "I need three bitter and unsuccessful scientists and a hundred lazy journalists." weasel: "Very good." Dilbert: "Did you know toddlers thrive on pollution?"
Tuesday October 30,
2007
Tags credible scientist, products harm enbviornment, cats doubt on data, eat wrong food, hope you die
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does. The Boss: "You're making me hungry!"
Sunday October 28,
2007
Tags empty brain, stress, word knowledge, past the filters, mantra, lindsay lohan, britney spears, paris hilton
Transcript
Ratbert: My brain is empty. "It feels great!" "Stress is just another word for knowledge." "Wait a minute. How do I know that?" "GAAA!!! Something got past the filters!" "Must...Do...Mantra..." "Lindsay Lohan...Britney Spears...Paris Hilton...Ommmmm." Dogbert: "Are you all good now?" Ratbert: "Have we met?"


