New Product Comic Strips - Page 59
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1000 Results for New Product
View 581 - 590 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 27,
2007
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday December 25,
2007
Tags firing, incompetent, another job, lack of training, new job, incompetence, normal
Transcript
The Boss: "Bruce, you're totally incompetent at your job, so I've moving you to another job." "I'm hoping your lack of training for your new job will make your incompetence seem normal." Half of this job is know when to give up."
Wednesday December 19,
2007
Tags disciuss company politics, career monefield, project, new strategic direction, upcoming reorganization, plan to criticize, something good happens
Transcript
The Boss: "I'm not allowed to discuss the company politics that form a career minefield around your project." "And I can't tell you the company's new strategic direction, or anything about our upcoming reorg." The boss: "My plan is to criticize you until something good happens."
Wednesday December 05,
2007
Tags intern, test pilot, new moon, shuttle prototype, wiser, monkey on first flight
Transcript
The Boss: "Asok, I need an intern to test-pilot our new moon shuttle prototype." Asok: "Wouldn't it be wiser to send a monkey on the first flight?" The Boss: "You're thinking of the second flight."
Friday November 23,
2007
Tags family friendly policy, implemented, children, parents, needs of family, school, sick, rugby game, denta;appoitments, responsibility of parent, surprised, Family, education, medical
Transcript
Carol: "I'd like to take advantage of our new family friendly policy." "Three of my kids have bronchitis, two have dental appointments, one is in a school play, and one has a rugby game." "In all likelihood, you will never see me again." The boss: "We didn't think this through."
Wednesday November 07,
2007
Tags rebalance 401k, new starategy, element of surprise
Transcript
The Boss: Our new strategy has never worked for anyone before. "That will give us the element of surprise." "Let's get started!" Dilbert: "Can I rebalance my 401(k) first?"
Wednesday October 10,
2007
Tags new guy, huge wesel, new hires, credible, complin, stop doing, stop working
Transcript
Wally: The new guy is a huge weasel. Don't believe anything he says. The Boss: "You say that about all the new hires so they won't seem credible when they complain about you." Wally: "I'll stop doing it when it stops working."
Monday October 08,
2007
Tags charge less, enginners, honesty, stop, brilliant suggestion
Transcript
The boss: Explain why you charge less of your time to projects than all the other engineers. Dilbert: "I'm trying something new. It's called honesty." The Boss: "Stop doing that." Dilbert: "Okay brilliant suggestion."
Sunday September 23,
2007
Tags changed product design, old design, new design, balme, ahtred, same person
Transcript
CoWorker: I changed the product design. Dilbert: "It's worse than the old design." Coworker: "You asked me to come up with a new design." Dilbert: "I meant a new design that's better than the old design." Coworker: "Great. You could have told me that before I did all this work." "How do you think this makes me feel?" "No one would blame me for hating you." "I'm the only sane person in this company."
Tuesday September 18,
2007
Tags public relations, marketing claims, tap water, unleaded gasoline, reanimate the dead, lousy job, job easier
Transcript
Dogbert, VP of marketing PR: "As head of public relations, it will be my job to explain your marketing claims." Dogbert: "So?" PR: "You claim our product can turn tap water into unleaded gasoline and reanimate the dead." Dogbert: "Are you asking my to do a lousy job of marketing just so your job is easier?" PR: "Um..."


