Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 59
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1000 Results for Business Ethics
View 581 - 590 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 27,
2002
Tags least expensive vendor, requirements, change mid project, lowest bid, fired later, fired mid project, outplacement service, every sale
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with a business associate. The business associate says, "We're the least expensive vendor unless your requirements change mid- project." Dilbert responds, "So... I'll get fired if I don't select the lowest bid, or I'll be fired later when the bills for change orders pour in." Dilbert says, "I prefer to be fired mid-project." The business associate replies, "We offer outplacement service with every sale."
Saturday March 30,
2002
Tags email, employees, leave too early, menacing pose, more cars in lot, own email, parking lot, business
Transcript
Dorie's Boss says to Dorie, "Dorie, send an e-mail: employees are leaving work too early." Dorie's Boss continues, "I was to see more cars in the parking lot after 6 p.m. otherwise, heads will roll!" Dorie responds, "You type your own e-mail." The Boss replies, "I can't do that AND do this menacing pose at the same time."
Monday April 01,
2002
Tags avoid finsihing, surplus employees, wrong about knowing
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Business is way down. You know what you need to do." Wally responds, "Avoid finishing anything so we never appear to be surplus employees?" Wally continues, "Maybe this would be a good time to admit that you were wrong about us knowing."
Thursday April 18,
2002
Tags assignment, job, department, manager, pretend job useful, business
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Um.. you gave me an assignment that isn't my job and doesn't need to be done." The Boss replies, "I'm trying to take over another department by doing their work. Later I'll say their manager should report to me." Dilbert says, "Could we at least pretend my job is useful?" The Boss replies, "Don't I always?"
Friday April 19,
2002
Tags done in 30days, faster than light, discover doorway, sounds iffy, being flexible
Transcript
Dilbert asks a business associate, "Can you get this done in thirty days?" The business associate replies, "Yes, absolutely." The business associate continues, "We'll just travel faster than light to a black hole and discover a doorway in time." Dilbert replies, "That sounds iffy." The business associate says, "Excuse me for being flexible."
Saturday April 20,
2002
Tags boss booked, highest ratio, unavailabilty, usefulness, sound insulting, do math, human resources, business
Transcript
Alice asks The Boss, "How about any Tuesday this year?" The Boss replies, "No, I'm booked." Alice says, "You have the highest ratio of unavailability to usefulness I've ever seen." The Boss asks Catbert, "Does that sound like an insult?" Catbert replies, "If I could do math I wouldn't be working in human resources."
Monday May 06,
2002
Tags minutes, meeting, read minutes, irrelevant things said, men are idiots, bad descions, implied, business
Transcript
In a meeting, The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, would you read the minutes from our last meeting?" Alice reads, "People said irrelevant things. Bad decisions were made. Men are idiots." The Boss responds, "I don't remember that last part." Alice says, "It was implied." Wally is asleep.
Monday June 10,
2002
Tags conversations banned, talk about work, applies work hours, home, Family, sleeping, harsh rules, evil director, human resources, business
Transcript
Headline: To: Employees From: Catbert. Catbert types, "All non-work conversations are banned." Catbert continues typing, "From now on you're only allowed to talk about work." An employee is eating dinner at home with his family. All of his children are asleep at the table. His wife says, "I think it only applies during work hours." The employee responds, "I can't take that chance."
Friday June 14,
2002
Tags engineering decison, project, need to act, fiber capacity, serial input, meeting, communication problems, table, business
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I needed to make an engineering decision about your project this morning." The Boss continues, "You'll need to act like you agree with it so I don't look stupid." Dilbert is at a meeting. A coworker turns to Dilbert and says, "Explain to us how fiber capacity can be increased by serial input at breakfast."
Thursday July 04,
2002
Tags coffee with the boss, meeting, feel free, don't hold back, squeaky chair, ungrateful wretch, name calling, business
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You're the first employee for my 'Coffee with the Boss' program." The Boss continues, "Feel free to say whatever is on your mind. Don't hold back. Give it to me straight." Dilbert says, "My chair has a squeak." The Boss yells, "You ungrateful whiny wretch!!!"

