Ceo Comic Strips - Page 59
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627 Results for Ceo
View 581 - 590 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 24,
2015
Root Cause Is People
Tags problems, cause and effect, human error
Transcript
Dilbert: I found the root cause of our problems. It's people. They're buggy. Boss: Did you bring a pen?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday September 02,
2015
Robot As Assassin
Tags robot, murder, instruction, control, master, slave, assassin, morals, cautionary tale
Transcript
Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.
Thursday September 03,
2015
Uncheck The Do No Harm Box
Tags murder, killing, robot, control, master, slave, moral, amoral
Transcript
Boss: Yesterday a robot murdered the CEO of our main competitor. Heh-heh. Dilbert: That could only happen if some idiot unchecked the robot's "Do No Harm" box and doomed humankind to annihilation. Boss: Say what? Robot: Hello, victims.
Wednesday March 09,
2016
Fifty Slide Presentation
Tags managers, tasks, presentation, expectation, unrealistic, obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO wants me to make a fifty-slide presentation for him that will motivate employees. Dilbert: Ha ha! Now you know how we feel when you ask us to do ridiculous things. Boss: Anyway, I don't have time, so I need you to do it for me.
Saturday October 15,
2016
Blame Rolls Downhill
Tags blame, responsibility, management
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?
Monday December 19,
2016
Who's Turn To Lie
Saturday February 11,
2017
Estimating Software Completion
Tags estimate, deadline, questioning, delay, prediction
Transcript
Boss: When will the next version of the software be done? Dilbert: That's like asking me to estimate how long it takes a salamander to evolve into a horse. Boss: So... what should I tell our CEO? Dilbert: Try the salamander analogy. It worked on you.
Friday February 17,
2017
Management Fast Track
Tags talent, management, potential, frustration
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.
Tuesday April 18,
2017
Wally's Sleep Vr
Tags vr, virtual reality, sleeping, nap, deception, technology
Transcript
Wally: I wrote a VR program that creates the illusion you are asleep. Watch me demonstrate. ZZZZZ. CEO: How long should I watch?
Tuesday June 13,
2017
One Small Mistake Is Doom
Tags nervous, Advice, fear, anxiety, public speaking, presentation
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.

