Conference Room Comic Strips - Page 59

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650 Results for Conference Room

View 581 - 590 results for conference room comic strips. Discover the best "Conference Room" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #rebel negotiation, #table, #room water, #pool, #senior discount, #observational humour, #high price

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Rebel negotiations Dilbert: "Your price to not attack our Elbonian factory is too high." Elbonian: "We can give you the senior citizen discount." *snort* Dilbert: "That's just mean." Elbonian: "Sorry. I'll switch to more observational humor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fake surveillance camera, #chepaer, #discourage thefts, #treat employees like criminals, #leave

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Dilbert walks by an open office door and hears, "Pssst!" Dilbert walks in and says, "Yes?" The Boss says, "Come in and shut the door." The Boss continues, "I bought a fake video surveillance camera." The Boss holds the Boss and says, "Install it in the break room tonight." The Boss continues, "It's cheaper than a real camera and it will discourage thefts." Dilbert says, "If you treat employees like criminals, they'll leave." The Boss says, "Good point. You'd better hide the fake camera so no one knows it's there." Dilbert puts the box in the trash and walks away whistling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #win battle, #developing better tv sets, #digital couch, #butt warmer, #bottle opener, #back scratcher, #control lights, #temperature, #buttocks like a mouse

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Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #marketing, #engineers, #percentage increase, #trivial base, #stink eye, #business

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Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #court room, #judge, #lawyer, #ceo, #witness, #defendant, #die die die, #admits guilt, #first question, #legal

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Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #elderly, #old, #phone, #landline phones, #no caller id, #new technology, #offered hard candy, #fiddlesticks, #couldn't hear

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We surveyed a thousand people who still have landline phones and no caller I.D. We asked for their opinion on our new technology. 34% said, "Fiddlesticks," and 23% couldn't hear the question. 43% thought we were in the room with them and offered us a hard candy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #focus group, #surprise, #chair, #sleeping gas, #plotting

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The Boss says, "How's the focus group coming along?" Dilbert says, "They don't like us. They're plotting to storm our observation room." The Boss says, "Release the sleeping gas." Dilbert says, "CHAIR!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #scan, #document, #ask, #favor, #important, #scanner malfunction, #hope, #empty candy jar, #hopeless

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Dilbert says, "Can you scan this document for me?" Carol says, "Is it important?" Carol says, "If it isn't important, you shouldn't bother me. If it is, the scanner will malfunction." Dilbert says, "Is there no room for hope?" Carol says, "I keep mine in this empty candy jar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #birthday cake, #coworker, #Scott, #spit, #candle, #sarcastic, #queen of england, #fancy

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Carol says, "We're having a birthday cake for Scott in the break room." Dilbert says, "No thanks. I prefer cake that isn't frosted with the spit of recent candle-blowing." Carol says, "Oooh, look at the Queen of England who likes her cake without spit. What's it like to be fancy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #public relations, #statue of liberty, #destroy, #new york harbor, #weapon demo, #remorse, #fake, #glasses, #fake tears, #water, #flood

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Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "The public won't forgive you until you fake some remorse." Dogbert says, "These glasses have a hose that leads to a pumping station and a huge reservoir of fake tears." CEO says, "If we have another press conference, we should crack open a window."