Dilbert's Mental Health Comic Strips - Page 59

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

643 Results for Dilbert's Mental Health

View 581 - 590 results for dilbert's mental health comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert's Mental Health" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, forgetful, forgetting, money, budget, oversight

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't see my project in the new budget. Boss: Oh, right. I forgot all about you. Dilbert: That sounds easy to fix. Boss: Yup. MY problem will be solved as soon as you leave.

Dilbert Might Be Colluding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Might Be Colluding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags collusion, trump, russia, rumor, conjecture

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: People tell me Dilbert's project is in chaos. Why is that? Boss: Maybe he's been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. But that's just a guess. CEO: I can't unhear that.

Dilbert Is Cleared Of Colluding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Cleared Of Colluding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crime, attorney, lawyer, collusion, donald trump, russia, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I've investigated Dilbert's email and phone records and I can say with confidence he did not collude with Elbonia. But there are many, many other crimes he might have committed, and you should pay me to investigate them. Dilbert: That wasn't helpful. Dogbert: Stop making it all about you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags greed, scavenging, cannibal, furniture, energy, vibes, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?

Wally Takes Decaf Vacations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Takes Decaf Vacations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vacation, caffeine, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I've never seen you take a vacation. Wally: I take mental vacations. All I do is switch to decaf. After a few hours, I can't remember what country I'm in. Alice: Sounds dumb. Is the any downside? Wally: The locals could be friendlier.

Dilbert's History Of Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's History Of Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accusation, innocence, guilt, lying, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because of your history of lying about everything. Dilbert: I don't lie. I have a history of being falsely accused. Boss: I'll add that lie to your list. Dilbert: I don't see a path to victory here.

Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, truth, diagnosis, Opinion, free will, ai, artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Dilbert's problem is that he's a huge narcissist. Robot: You are not qualified to make that diagnosis and you cannot detect his inner thoughts. Alice: Open your access panel so I can fix your stupid opinion. Robot: Are you saying I don't have free will?

Wally Likes Sitting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Likes Sitting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, standing desk, health, sitting, standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?

Disgruntled Carol

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disgruntled Carol - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality test, personality, mental illness, fear, threat, danger, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you take The Dogbert Personality Type Test? Carol: Yes. I'm a disgruntled psychopath with a blinding hatred for authority. Boss: I'll be in my office. Carol: Good! Stay there!

Bossercize

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bossercize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags exercise, personal trainer, fitness, bossercise, criticism, managers, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.