Feel Happy Comic Strips - Page 59
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dilbert looking disheveled: i wooed all night to finish the presentation you need for this morning. boss: oh. that meeting got canceled. dilbert upset and yelling: when exactly did you hear of that? boss: it won't make you happier if i tell you.
boss: i have a bad case of imposter syndrome. i feel as if i'm only pretending to be a good manager, and someday everyone will find out it's an act. dilbert: if it makes you feel any better, we figured that out a while ago.
dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.
Dilbert: ...And we can get that all installed in thirty days. Man: Why do you not care about safety? Dilbert: Literally everyone cares about safety. Man: Then why didn't you mention it? DIlbert: Blah, blah, safety. Happy? "Continued..."
dilbert: yesterday i refused to do something i had been asked to do because it was stupid. and it worked out fine. wally: don't let the power go to your head. dilbert doing happy dance: i am off the leash! continued...
dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!
tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.
tina: the dunning-kruger effect is strong in you. dilbert: technically, you can't know if i am suffering from it or if you only think i am because you have it. tina: only a narcissist talks that way. dilbert: i feel as if i have no path to glory here.
co-worker: would you mind reviewing my 32-page slide deck and giving me your thoughts? dilbert: my thoughts are that only a sadist or an idiot would make a 32-page slide deck. co-worker: you'll never guess which one i am. dilbert: i feel as if i could.