First 100 Days Comic Strips - Page 59

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

722 Results for First 100 Days

View 581 - 590 results for first 100 days comic strips. Discover the best "First 100 Days" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #prison (jail), #governments data, #hidden tunnel, #elbonian embassy

View Transcript

Transcript

NSA Agent: Maybe a few days in solitary will make you tell us how you stole the government's data. Dilbert: Is this the cell with the hidden tunnel? NSA Agent: The what? Dilbert: I'll be at the Elbonian embassy.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #computer programmers, #code, #writing code, #conspiracy theories

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'd like to recognize Ted for writing his part of the code in just two days. Dilbert: How many days was it supposed to take? Boss: At least a week, I would think. Dilbert: Why would you think that? Boss: Because it was so hard to do. Dilbert: Who told you it was hard? Boss: Ted did. Dilbert: All he did was delete some lines from existing code and recompile it. Ted: It was hard. Boss: See! Wally: Do you have any more crazy conspiracy theories?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #sales personnel, #existing system, #ignorance us not an option, #survey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'll need to know if your device is compatible with our existing system. Salesman: It is 100% compatible with your system. Dilbert: I didn't even tell you what system we have. Salesman: That doesn't matter. Dilbert: It sort of does. Salesman: Not to me. Dilbert: So you don't really know if it will work? Salesman: I'm entitled to my opinion. Dilbert: Ignorance is not an opinion!!! Salesman: Please stay on the line for a brief survey.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #thinking, #brain storming, #ignore studies, #hatred, #agreed

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Who wants to go first with the brainstorming? Dilbert: I suggest we ignore all of the studies that say brainstorming doesn't work. Boss: Now I hate you a little extra. Dilbert: Because I agreed with your plan?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2013's comic on:


Tags #biometric sensor, #cruelty, #electric shock, #inventions, #prototype, #tasered, #test animals, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added a biometric sensor to our smartphone prototype. ZZEEEP It uses x-rays. Boss: Maybe you should have tested it on animals first. Dilbert: Do I look like an animal hater?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #laziness, #managers & supervisors, #famous leaders, #copy, #16 hrs a day, #reading about industry, #leaders eat cake, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #sales personnel, #linux, #million dollars, #pay for upgrade, #away for free

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll sell you the rights to use Linux for one million dollars. After the first month, you only need to pay for every upgrade. Boss: It sounds too good to be true. Dogbert: It's not as if I'm giving it away for free.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #money, #takes money, #makes money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: IT takes money to make money. Dilbert: Where did the first money come from? Wally: I'm pretty sure it takes money to waste money, too Boss: Please stop talking!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2013's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #committees, #frustration, #agreement with plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The Noncommittal Committee Dilbert: Does everyone agree with the plan? Woman 1: It depends. Man 1: Ask me later. Man 2: Eh. Woman 2: I'll think about it. Dilbert: Make a decision!!! Voice: Is this your first day?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #inventions, #space flight, #elon musk, #space hsips, #electric cars, #electric rocket, #robots, #colonize, #planet, #power cord

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.