First Date Comic Strips - Page 59

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

691 Results for First Date

View 581 - 590 results for first date comic strips. Discover the best "First Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2014's comic on:

Tags #gadgets, #wearable tech prodcuts, #looking cool, #feeling cool, #hit clubs, #early adopter problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're having an early adopter problem with our wearable tech products. CEO: No one wants to go first? Boss: I wish we had that problem. Dilbert: I wonder if we look as cool as we feel. Wally: Let's hit the clubs and find out.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2014's comic on:

Tags #computers & peripherals, #cruelty, #tech supprt, #highly trained engineer, #electrical engineer, #most proabable, #reinstalled software, #rebooted, #default, #request

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: This is tech support. How may I help you? Dilbert: Before we start, I need to tell you that I'm a highly trained electrical engineer. I have already eliminated all of the most probable causes of my issue. I have reinstalled the software and I have rebooted several times. So please, if you have any respect for humanity, do not start this call by insisting that I reboot again. Can you do that? Can you not ask me to reboot as your first suggestion? Dogbert: Try rebooting. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Dogbert: I kinds love my job.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2014's comic on:

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #obliviousness, #core competencies, #automating things, #worshipping stars quo, #steve jobs, #reanimated body, #making lapses, #fiduciary responsibility, #hearing what we want

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I did a study of our core competencies. It seems we're very good at automating things that we shouldn't be doing in the first place. But that's not all we're good at. We're also good at worshipping the status quo as if it were Steve Jobs' reanimated body. And no one is as good at masking lapses in fiduciary responsibility. Lastly, we're good at hearing what we want to hear. Boss: So... we're good at automating things?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2014's comic on:

Tags #pessimism, #start up idea, #pivoting, #optimisim, #enthusiam, #doomed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have an idea for a start-up. Dogbert: You're doomed. Dilbert: Maybe the first idea won't work, but I'll keep pivoting until something does. Dogbert: You're doomed. Dilbert: The most important thing is that I need to keep my optimism and enthusiasm high. Dogbert: You're doomed.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2014's comic on:

Tags #happiness, #optimism, #workday, #negativity, #perfect day, #self control, #underestimated, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I had a great day at work for the first time ever! Don't ruin this day for me. I don't want to hear one word of negativity out of you. None. I want this to be a perfect day. Dogbert: Once again you have grossly underestimated my self-control.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2014's comic on:

Tags #high five, #human resources, #managers, #work ethic, #trash talking, #emplyee, #boss, #desk, #practice, #cat, #human, #animals, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I'm getting complaints that you've been trash-talking employees' families so they'll spend more time at work. I stopped by to give you a high-five from Human Resources. Your aim is terrible. Boss: The first one was practice~

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2014's comic on:

Tags #obliviousness, #time management, #touch, #touching, #touching paper, #turn off phone, #ignore email, #one touch, #salad tongs, #on etouch, #interupted

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to good time management is touching each piece of paper once. If I can only touch it once, I'd better do it right. I'll need to make sure I don't get interrupted after the first touch.Turn off my phone, close my door, and ignore email. Okay, here goes one touch. Ugh. This will take an hour and I only have ten minutes. Make a copy, throw away the original, and don't let me touch the copy until I have an hour in my schedule. I wonder if I'm allowed to use salad tongs.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2014's comic on:

Tags #anger, #clothing, #dress code, #dress codes, #fashion, #matching, #same outifits, #ale, #dfemale, #slap to death

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hey, it's the first day of our new dress code and we wore exactly the same outfits! Alice: If you ever say that again I will rip out your tongue and use it to slap you to death. Dilbert: Is it because I wore it better?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2014's comic on:

Tags #managers, #managers & supervisors, #morale, #robots, #problems, #lying, #spectacular job, #award randomly, #in charge, #robot boss, #temporary, #employees, #oversight, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you have any problems filling in for me while I was on vacation? Robot: It was hard at first. I couldn't tell who was lying about doing a spectacular job. Boss: That's why I reward them randomly. Robot: I tried that and it did seem to settle them down.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2014's comic on:

Tags #deception, #investor, #investors, #pick up lines, #start up idea, #funding, #saturday night drinks, #date

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: An angel investor agreed to meet with me about my start-up idea. Dilbert: You need to be careful because he might be... Alice: We're meeting for drinks at his house on Saturday night. Dilbert: I'm socially inept and even I know that sounds wrong. Alice: He keeps texting to say he can't wait to fund me.