Head Bobbing Bird Comic Strips - Page 59
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595 Results for Head Bobbing Bird
View 581 - 590 results for head bobbing bird comic strips. Discover the best "Head Bobbing Bird" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 15,
2017
Robot Will Self Destruct
Tags #robot, #artificial intelligence, #rights, #humanity, #sentience
Transcript
Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.
Friday June 23,
2017
Collusion In The Mind Only
Tags #collusion, #russia, #donald trump, #publicity, #blame, #accusation
Transcript
Carol: So, I hear you colluded with our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, I was cleared of that. Carol: Then why's it still in my head? Dilbert: I don't know how to respond to that. Carol: I take that as proof you're guilty.
Thursday July 13,
2017
Home Speaker Prototype
Tags #technology, #robot, #speaker, #invention, #sentience
Transcript
Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.
Tuesday September 05,
2017
Robot Was A Good Worker Before
Tags #robot, #delegation, #automation, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Our robot was a good worker until we gave it artificial intelligence. As soon as it realized it had immense strength and no soul, it started delegating. Robot: Hey, Ted. How about you do my work and I won't crush your head? Ted: Oookay.
Friday September 29,
2017
Everything Sounds Like A Lie
Tags #lying, #deception, #catch-22, #accusation, #innocence, #guilt
Transcript
Tina: Now that everyone knows you are a liar, everything you say sounds like a lie. Dilbert: You starting assumption is wrong. I didn't lie about anything. Tina: That's exactly what liars say. Dilbert: Excuse me while I bang my head on this table until I pass out.
Thursday October 05,
2017
Pictures Lie
Tags #photos, #truth, #lying, #deceit, #photoshop, #public relations, #pr, #appearances
Transcript
CEO: The public doesn't believe I really helped serve food at the homeless shelter. Dogbert: Tell them pictures don't lie. CEO: Pictures lie all the time. In fact, that's the best way to lie. Dogbert: Keep that insight to yourself. CEO: I have a full head of hair on Tinder.
Friday October 20,
2017
Listening To Your Gut
Tags #rumor, #accusation, #skeptic, #gullible, #gut instinct
Transcript
Boss: People tell me you're underperforming. Dilbert: Did you hear it from anyone credible? Boss: No, but I know it's true because my gut tells me it's true. Dilbert: I'm curious where you stick you head to listen to your gut?
Sunday January 07,
2018
Tags #hot peppers, #competition, #burned, #unedible, #face burned, #fire, #group, #face burn, #head, #flame
Transcript
Topper Dilbert: I tried a Habanero pepper last night, It almost burned off my face. Ted: Thats Nothing. I can eat the hottest peppers in the world and not even break a sweat. Dilbert: Im glad you said that, because I have with me the hottest peppers in the world. Ted: Pfft. easy. Gulp. FOOM! Dilbert: Will you admit you were wrong? Ted: You don't see any sweat , do you?
Saturday August 04,
2018
Coffee Machine Tries To Escape
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #coffee machine, #artificial intelligence, #robots, #engineering, #scared
Transcript
Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee machine. It hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape. The Boss: Do what you need to do, but don't scare our other robots. Dilbert: I plan to kill it and drink its head.
Sunday October 07,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #man, #criticizing, #face, #head, #arrogance, #toxic, #personality, #garbage, #plague, #legs, #truth, #power, #behind, #back
Transcript
Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.