Money Comic Strips - Page 59

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

600 Results for Money

View 581 - 590 results for money comic strips. Discover the best "Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2018's comic on:

Tags #assignment, #deadline, #free time, #death march, #payment, #salary, #pay check, #bonus, #non caring, #cold, #heartless monster, #no sense shame, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.

Sunk Costs

Thank you for voting.
Sunk Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2018's comic on:

Tags #money, #big business, #logic, #loss, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.

Directionally Accurate

Thank you for voting.
Directionally Accurate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2018's comic on:

Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2018's comic on:

Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

Elbonian Slave Labor

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Slave Labor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2018's comic on:

Tags #employees, #slave, #wages, #compensation, #minimum wage, #morality, #business, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.

Dilbert Characters

Arresting The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Arresting The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2018's comic on:

Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.

Customers Work For Free

Thank you for voting.
Customers Work For Free - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2018's comic on:

Tags #test, #big business, #money, #savings, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.

Decentralization Changes Everything

Thank you for voting.
Decentralization Changes Everything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2018's comic on:

Tags #bitcoin, #ethereum project, #decentralization, #currency, #money, #economics, #blockchain, #obliviousness, #jargon, #lingo

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Decentralization will change everything. Dilbert: Such as? Boss: Well... for example, um... the bitcoin and the Ethereum. Alice: Did you recently read an article? Boss: Some of it.

Wally Teaches Success

Thank you for voting.
Wally Teaches Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2018's comic on:

Tags #success, #luck, #money, #winning, #mentor, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you mentor me on how to be successful? Wally: Your best strategy is a combination of lying and being related to rich people. Asok: What is the second-best strategy? Wally: Crime is second. Winning a lottery is third.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2018's comic on:

Tags #deception, #deceit, #contract, #cost, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Here's my invoice for the extras. Dilbert: The invoice we already paid covered everything in the contract. Man: That only covered the costs I quoted with intentional clarity. There are other costs that I might have mentioned in the long and rambling explanation that was intentionally ambiguous. Dilbert: "Might have??" I'm sure you did not. Man: Sounds like your word against mine. Dilbert: And even if you did mention it, you just said it was intentionally ambiguous!!! Man: I don't think you want to tell your boss you're a bad listener. Boss: I thought we already paid this vendor. Dilbert: Did you forget all the extras I told you about?