New Product Comic Strips - Page 59

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Product

View 581 - 590 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Year's Day

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Year's Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags holidays, new year's day, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?

New Forms

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, money, office, office workers, efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

Best Product

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, jokes, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm, presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Being Like A Man

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being Like A Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, business, criticism, men and women, relations between the sexes, sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.

Marketing Lies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marketing Lies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, boss, headphones, competition, meeting, marketing, lies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new headphones product is better than the competition in every way. Boss: Excellent. I'll get marketing involved to tell a bunch of lies about all of that. Dilbert: Why would they need to lie? Boss: They're kind of set in their ways.

Offensive Product Name

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Offensive Product Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, insults, office, office workers, elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.

New Feature Added

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Feature Added - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, marketing, office, office workers, time travel

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i need you to add a feature to our product because our marketing campaign says we already have it. dilbert: no problem. what's the feature? the boss: time travel. the boss: how long will it take to add that feature? dilbert: if i'm successful, i'll have it done by last week.

Welcome Baskets

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Welcome Baskets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, racism, new employee

View Transcript

Transcript

alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.

Evil Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Evil Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, chimps, evil, marketing, office, product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.

New Cubicles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Cubicles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.