Two Weeks Vaction Comic Strips - Page 59

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View 581 - 590 results for two weeks vaction comic strips. Discover the best "Two Weeks Vaction" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job

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Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags talking, conversation, boring, annoy, quitting, boredom

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Boss: Ted is doing a terrible job. Catbert: Maybe you should talk to him. Boss: What should I say? Catbert: It doesn't matter. Five minutes of listening to you will make him want to quit. Boss: That's crazy enough to work. Catbert: You've only been here for two minutes and my tail is asleep.

Elbonians Jumping Off Roof

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Elbonians Jumping Off Roof - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jump, height, suicide, struggle, failure

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Dilbert: We have a problem at our Elbonian manufacturing plant. Employees are leaping from the roof to end their lives. Boss: It's only two stories high. Dilbert: That's the problem. It takes three jumps to do it right.

The Illusion Of Work

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The Illusion Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception

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Wally: It's easier to create the illusion of work than it is to do actual work. That's why I carry this red folder with me wherever I go. Man: Can you attend a design meeting at two? Wally: Ooh... I wish I could, but I'm behind on the red file.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tldr, email, communication, patience, criticism

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Man: Did you read my email? Dilbert: No, it was too long. Man: Maybe you could read it when you have more time. Dilbert: I never have time to read email messages that are too long. Maybe you could rewrite it to be shorter. Man: I don't have time to rewrite it. Dilbert: And I don't have time to read it. Man: If no one reads that email, it will mean I wasted two hours writing it. Dilbert: Plus, you're wasting my time right now. Don't forget to include that in your failure assessment. Man: I had high hopes for that email. Dilbert: It's a sunk cost. Let it go.

Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone

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Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, germs, cleanliness, bathroom, technology

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Tina: My phone is broken. Can I use yours to make a call? Wally: Absolutely. If it seems warm, that's because I was using it in the men's room for the past two hours. Tina: I'll ask someone else. Wally: Yup.

Two Choices For Work Space

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Two Choices For Work Space - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office, office workers, cubicle, distraction, work from home

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Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?

Adding A Feature

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Adding A Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, design, changes, planning, managers

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Boss: Add this feature to the software. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why didn't you ask for this weeks ago when it would have been easy???? Boss: This is nothing. Wait until you see the feature I ask for next week.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

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Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rich people, money, stock market, investments, out of touch, obliviousness, stratification

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CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?

Dilbert Is A Lover Not A Fighter

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Dilbert Is A Lover Not A Fighter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lover, fighter, argument

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Dilbert: I'm a lover, not a fighter. Dogbert: When is the last time you did either one? Dilbert: Are you trying to start a fight? Dogbert: It's the better option of the two.

Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes

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Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, results, confidentiality, progress, business

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Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.