You Didn't Get It Comic Strips - Page 59

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591 Results for You Didn't Get It

View 581 - 590 results for you didn't get it comic strips. Discover the best "You Didn't Get It" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Hates Safety

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Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #safety, #anger, #yelling, #statistics, #flaw, #authority, #health

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dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.

Ceo Has Pandemic Plan

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Ceo Has Pandemic Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #stock market, #money, #rich, #lost, #pandemic, #health, #underpay, #stategy

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ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.

Need Boss To Make Decision

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Need Boss To Make Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #argument, #boss, #decision, #engineering, #knowledge, #marketing, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

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Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.

Bead Of Sweat

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Bead Of Sweat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #health & safety, #idea, #nervous, #office workers, #sickness, #virus, #paranoia, #pandemic

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Man: What do you think of my idea? Dilbert: To be honest, I didn't hear a word of it. I spent the whole time being worried about that bead of sweat on your forehead. Man: It's warm in here! Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be a thousand yards in that direction.

Disbanding Task Force

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Disbanding Task Force  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

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Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.

Hate Edits

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Hate Edits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #office workers, #sarcasm, #edit

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Dilbert: I didn't like your analysis, so I made some hate-edits. Man: What's a hate-edit? Dilbert: You'll see. Man: You changed "in my opinion" to "according to the squirrels in my skull." Dilbert: There you go.

Better Fast Than Good

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Better Fast Than Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #email, #office workers, #sadness, #sarcasm, #time, #truth

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Dilbert: I got your email, but I didn't have time to include your upgrades on my analysis. It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it's late. Alice: Why is it that everything true is also sad? Dilbert: That's how the truth works.

Dilbert Cares Not For Safety

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 Dilbert Cares Not For Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #argument, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: ...And we can get that all installed in thirty days. Man: Why do you not care about safety? Dilbert: Literally everyone cares about safety. Man: Then why didn't you mention it? DIlbert: Blah, blah, safety. Happy? "Continued..."

Getting Opinions

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Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #technology, #input, #dumb, #human, #universe, #Opinion, #strategy, #worse

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boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

Lack Of Social Contact

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Lack Of Social Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #pandemic, #technology, #social, #contact, #best, #week, #covid, #cope

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Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.