Intelligent Choices Comic Strips - Page 6

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59 Results for Intelligent Choices

View 51 - 59 results for intelligent choices comic strips. Discover the best "Intelligent Choices" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #choices, #bullying, #60 hour week, #fatique, #lower quality, #enlightened leader, #work fewer hours, #better outcome, #illusion, #created by underlings, #abuse, #pian, #enforcement, #business

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Dilbert: You have an interesting choice today. You can continue bullying me into working sixty hours per week... while knowing that fatigue will lower the quality of my work. Or you can be an enlightened leader and encourage me to work fewer hours for a better net outcome. Boss: I'm not supposed to tell you this, but... leadership is an illusion created by the abuse of underlings. The more pain I force you to endure, the more of a leader I appear to be. How's the truth feel? Dilbert: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #feelings, #nonverbal communication, #robots, #novelty, #read faces, #admiration, #arousal, #bacon, #differnces, #human vs. robot

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Boss: Robots are a clever novelty, but they will never be intelligent like humans. Dilbert: What would be an example of something your brain can do that a robot can't imitate? Boss: Well, for example, I can tell when a movie is good. Dilbert: If that were intelligence, all smart people would like the same movies. Boss: Well, I can also read human faces to know what people are feeling. Dilbert: What am I feeling right now? Boss: I'm picking up a mixture of admiration, arousal, and thoughts of bacon. Dilbert: Don't get cocky, but you won this round.

Next Robot Will Be Intelligent

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Next Robot Will Be Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #insult, #intelligence, #obliviousness, #robot, #stupid

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Boss: Our next robot release will have the intelligence of a human! Dilbert: Will it have intelligence in the same way you do? Boss: What are you implying? Dilbert: I'll bet the robot wouldn't know either.

Two Choices For A Project

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Two Choices For A Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #question, #trick, #choice, #illusion, #work, #assignment, #power

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Boss: Do you want the boring and awful project that is likely to succeed... or the fun project that is certain to fail and take your career with it? Dilbert: You came here to give both of them to me. Boss: Ha ha! You know me.

Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues

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Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #future, #death, #prediction, #health, #reaction, #medical

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Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.

Deciding Which Liar You Prefer

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Deciding Which Liar You Prefer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #choices, #voting, #election, #Politics

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Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.

Dogber Pr Firm Helps With Phones

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Dogber Pr Firm Helps With Phones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #safety, #product, #pr, #public relations, #battery, #samsung, #explosion, #danger

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Boss: We hired The Dogbert Public Relations Firm to help us with our exploding phone problem. Dogbert: We have two choices. We can either recall all of the phones, or we can convince people that having one ear is cool. Boss: Recalls are expensive. Dogbert: Okay, the Van Gogh strategy it is.

Rather Eat Garbage

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Rather Eat Garbage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #choices, #boredom, #listening, #trash, #garbage, #suffering

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Wally: Would you rather eat garbage or listen to our boss talk about his weekend? Dilbert: I'd have to know more about the garbage to make that decision. Wally: Let's say it's mostly kitchen stuff. Dilbert: Am I eating it from the can or fighting birds for it?

Two Choices For Work Space

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Two Choices For Work Space - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #distraction, #work from home

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Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?