Everyone Comic Strips - Page 6
258 Results for Everyone
View 51 - 60 results for everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 17, 1999's comic on:
Ted, Dilbert and Carol sit at a conference table. Ted says, "My boss is so dumb, He brought a tape measure to a distance learning class." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Carol says, "My boss is so dumb..." Carol says, "He puts postage stamps on his e-mail. Now he can't see his pc screen." Everyone laughs, "HA HA HA HA!" Ted says to Dilbert, "How about you, Dilbert? Do you have any dumb boss jokes?" The Boss enters the conference room. The Boss says, "Dilbert, my pc is warm. I think our fire wall is acting up." Ted pats Dilbert on the back and says, "We're sorry." Carol says, "We didn't know."
Share November 21, 1999's comic on:
A young Dilbert is in the kitchen with his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go skateboarding at the construction site?" Mom replies, "No." Dilbert asks, "Why not? Everyone else does it." Mom asks, "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Dilbert replies, "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training and equipment." Dilbert goes on, "But if 100% of the people who jumped off cliffs said they enjoyed it, as in my skateboard example... "...Then I would conclude that it was safe." Dilbert continues, "A better question might have been, "If everyone wore clothes, would you do that?"..." Dilbert outside, walking off with his skateboard thinking, "Her credibility gets worse every day."
Share November 23, 1999's comic on:
Asok comes up to the new CEO sitting at his desk and who looks like the devil and says, "Everyone says you're a great turnaround CEO." Asok continues, "What does it take to turn around a company like this one?' Asok is walking off, holding his head under his arm and the head is thinking, "I guess it's better to not be noticed the first month."
Share December 31, 1999's comic on:
The boss says to Dilbert: "I scheduled the meeting for 6:00 A.M. so everyone can make it." Dilbert says to the boss: "I assume you'll show up at eight o'clock and blame the traffic." The boss walks away and says: "The great thing about being a sociopath is that I always get enough sleep."
Share March 31, 2000's comic on:
At a meeting, the Boss announces: "I cancelled our dumpster service to save money." He continues: "I discovered an alternative that costs nothing." He tells everyone as he hands them a sheet of paper: "Everyone tear off a piece and put it in your pocket."
Share April 21, 2000's comic on:
The sadist approaches Alice and says, "I forwarded your e-mail to everyone." Alice now shocked and horrified, turns to face the sadist. She says, "Gaaa! That e-mail insulted half the people on our project!!" After reading Alice's email, Carol says to Alice and Dilbert "That's an interesting theory about why my hair is brown."
Share June 02, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, everyone says our website is ugly." Ming replies, "Really? Every person on earth said that? Even Tibetan monks?" The Boss meekly answers, "Maybe it was just one person." Ming asked, "And you confused him with the entire planet?"
Share July 15, 2000's comic on:
Asok says to Wally, "I got the stress everyone talks about. What should I do?" Wally answers, "Try using it as an excuse for not exercising." Asok asks Wally, "So...it's a good thing?" Wally replies, "It made me the man I am today."
Share August 06, 2000's comic on:
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Video cameras have been installed in all work areas." Catbert holds up a badge and says, "Employees must wear I.D. badges around their neck." Catbert continues, "Your internet and telephone usage will be monitored." Catbert continues, "Everyone will undergo mandatory drug testing." Catbert thinks to himself, "They're not resisting. They're ready for phase two." Catbert says, "Prepare to be permanently marked by hot ironos." The Boss asks Catbert, "Will that hurt?" Catbert answers, "I'll be fine. Thanks for asking." Everyone holds Wally down on the table as Catbert announces, "Wally is about to experience brand awareness."
Share August 13, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to his staff, "This is Rasputin, our new consultant." The Boss continues, "He stopped my paper cut from bleeding." The Boss says to everyone, "He has charisma." Alice says, "I'd like to see a demonstration on Asok." Rasputin looks at Asok fiercely. Asok nervously says, "Ack...can't breathe..." The Boss says to everyone, "That's called the evil eye process. Now do Wally." Rasputin begins to stare at Wally. Wally replies, "Ack...can't breathe..." Wally drops to the floor and the Boss says, "He never had a chance." Dilbert replies, "Your anti-charisma is strong today."