Search Results for "no respect"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #mentally weak, #no ambition, #no self respect, #happiest person, #kill, #psychology

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Alice: You're mentally weak. You have no ambition, no pride, and no self-respect. Wally: I'm also the happiest person in this room. Alice: Now I just want to kill you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #executives, #leadership, #acceptable behavior, #alight goals, #company objectives, #deal directly, #conflict, #maintain positive attitude, #impressive

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CEO: Who's up for some leadership? Watch me define acceptable behavior, align your goals with company objectives, prioritize respect, deal directly with conflict, maintain a positive attitude, and pretend to care! Wally: That would be impressive. CEO: Settle down, Bilbo.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #cruelty, #tech supprt, #highly trained engineer, #electrical engineer, #most proabable, #reinstalled software, #rebooted, #default, #request

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Dogbert: This is tech support. How may I help you? Dilbert: Before we start, I need to tell you that I'm a highly trained electrical engineer. I have already eliminated all of the most probable causes of my issue. I have reinstalled the software and I have rebooted several times. So please, if you have any respect for humanity, do not start this call by insisting that I reboot again. Can you do that? Can you not ask me to reboot as your first suggestion? Dogbert: Try rebooting. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Dogbert: I kinds love my job.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious

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CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #experience, #inexperience, #panic, #viable prodcut, #feature list, #deck, #first day, #no respect, #inexperienced guy

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Inexperienced Guy. Boss: Put together a deck showing the minimum viable product feature list. Employee: What is a deck? What is a minimum viable product? How would I know what the features are? Boss: I have no respect for people who ask questions. Employee: First day, not good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #hard work, #respect, #reward for work, #pretending to work, #incremental benefit, #realxing, #harder path, #loser, #respect hard work

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Wally: What's it like to work hard? I'm curious because the reward for hard work seems to be identical to the reward for pretending to work. It seems as if it would be demotivating to work so hard for no incremental benefit. If I had to pick one word to describe my day, it would be "relaxing." But you took the harder path, and for that, you have my respect. Alice: I don't want the respect of a loser! BAM! Wally: If it makes you feel any better, I don't actually respect hard work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deception, #dishonest, #dishonesty, #honest, #honesty, #lying, #reverse psychology, #trick, #trickery, #noteworthy, #hide evil, #verbal assault, #easiest lie, #set up

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Boss: To be perfectly honest... Dilbert: Wait! Why do you need to say you're being honest in this particular case? You're implying that you've lied to me so often in the past that this one instance of honesty is noteworthy. That is tantamount to admitting you have no respect for me as a human being. And you don't even have the decency to hide your evil in a competent fashion! Do you think I'm such an idiot that I wouldn't notice your verbal assault on my intelligence? Okay, let's hear the one honest thing you have ever told me. Go. Boss: This is going to be the easiest lie I've ever told.

Agreeing Like Disagreeing

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Agreeing Like Disagreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #respect, #disrespect, #Opinion, #arguing, #argument

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Dilbert: Experts say I should show respect for your opinion before voicing disagreement. So I respect your decision to release our product without user interface testing. Boss: Your respect sounds exactly like disrespect. Dilbert: How is that my fault?

Working Sixty Hours A Week

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Working Sixty Hours A Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #hours, #workload, #interpretation, #negativity

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Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.

Wally's Device Has Human Emotions

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Wally's Device Has Human Emotions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #invention, #human, #humanity, #misanthrope

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Dilbert: Is it true that you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions? Wally: Yes. I'd give you a demo, but the device is depressed and wants to be left alone. Dilbert: It looks like a block of wood. Wally: I'm only trying to copy the human mind. There's no reason to over-engineer it. Dilbert: I can respect that.