Returned Calls Comic Strips - Page 6
122 Results for Returned Calls
View 51 - 60 results for returned calls comic strips. Discover the best "Returned Calls" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 29, 2000's comic on:
The Boss puts his hand on Ted's back and says, "Ted, there's a huege demand for employees like you." The Boss continues, "Not you specifically...which is funny if you think about it." The Boss calls after him as he walks away, "Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"
Share November 10, 2000's comic on:
The Boss, reaching for a paper that Alice is handing him, says, "Thanks, Hun." Alice exclaims, "Hon?!" Alice says to The Boss, "You sexist %!*%! I will burn your village and make slaves of your children!" The Boss says to Alice, "It's short for Attila the Hun. Everyone calls you that." Alice says, "That seems harsh."
Share May 14, 2001's comic on:
The Boss approaches Carol's desk and tells her, "Carol, screen all my calls and don't let any salespeople through." Carol answers the phone and a voice says, "Hello, I'm a huge customer or perhaps a childhood friend of your boss." Carol replies, "Give me some flirting and you're in." The voice says, "Is it hot in here or is it just you."
Share May 15, 2001's comic on:
Carol enters the Boss' office. He is holding up the phone and asks, "Carol, why do you keep putting sales people through to me?" Carol replies, "I'm taking bribes to supplement my income. It's a natural extension of empowerment." The Boss shakes angrily, and Carol says, "I sense some micromanagement brewing."
Share May 19, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert returns home from his date and says to Dogbert, "My date complained about her life all night long!" Dilbert continues, "But I complain about just ONE thing and she calls ME a loser." Dogbert asks, "Did you complain about her personality?" Dilbert replies, "That's ONE thing!"
Share July 21, 2001's comic on:
Alice and Ron are saying their goodbyes next to Ron's car. They're headed towards an embrace. Alice says, "You're a total sociopath, Ron. I like that in a man." As they're hugging, Ron's hand is in Alice's purse. She cries, "Oh yes, rifle through my purse! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Ron heads back to his car. Alice calls after him, "Call me?" Ron responds while counting the money he's just stolen from her, "Sure. But you'd better wait by the phone; I only ring once."
Share October 14, 2001's comic on:
The Boss approaches Carol and says, "Carol, if anyone calls, say I'm in a meeting." Carol asks, "What meeting?" The Boss replies, "It doesn't matter." Carol thinks, "#O!* vague instructions" as the phone rings. Carol says into the phone, "He's at his weekly meeting of 'Morons Anonymous.' She continues on the phone, "It's a long meeting. They usually get into an argument about the definition of 'anonymous.' She continues on the phone, "Half of them think it means 'angry.' Then someone throws a chair and it's pandemonium." She continues on the phone, "The whole thing usually ends with a shoe-sniffing contest." The Boss returns to Carol's desk. She says, "Your mom called."
Share October 28, 2001's comic on:
Catbert is lying on a psychologist's couch. He says, "I'm a director of human resources." Catbert continues, "So naturally, I have to keep up the appearance of being evil." The psychologist asks, "But you find it difficult to do evil things?" Catbert responds, "No, I like that part of the job... Stop jumping ahead, hag." Catbert continues, "My problem is that anytime I see a tiny object fall to the floor, I jump on it and eat it." Catbert continues, "Sometimes I'm not even hungry and I know it's just a piece of debris but I can't stop myself." The psychologist says, "Oops.. I misspelled psycho." Catbert's voice is heard "No! Not eraser debris!" Catbert is heard from the floor, "#*!! @$& Quack!" The psychologist laughs and responds, "Who's a hag?"
Share December 30, 2001's comic on:
The Boss pops into Dilbert's cubicle and hands him a piece of paper. The Boss says, "Dilbert, take care of this. It's urgent." Dilbert responds, "I can't read your handwriting. What does it say?" The Boss responds, "I don't have time to answer your questions." The Boss continues, "Don't try to call me. I don't return calls." The Boss continues, "If you come to my office I'll be away." Headline: And then, like a bad odor on a windy day, the phantom manager vanished." Dilbert gives the note to Carol. She says, "I think it says, 'Floog smort olak munta hawthnort." Dilbert asks, "What does it mean?" Carol responds, "I think it involves monkeys and duct tape."
Share March 10, 2002's comic on:
The Boss is walking past Wally. Wally says, "You're an ignorant maggot. You disgust me." Wally continues, "You should get a face transplant from a baboon." The Boss exclaims, "What?!" Wally points to his headset and explains, "I'm not talking to you. I'm using my hands-free phone." The Boss replies, "Oh.. for a minute I thought... well, nevermind." Wally says, "Ha ha! You might be the most gullible moron in the galaxy!" Wally yells, "You pointy-haired, gray-suited pile of crud!!!" The Boss faces Wally, fuming with anger. Wally says into his headset, "Mom, can you hold? My excellent boss wants to talk to me." Wally asks sheepishly, "What?" The Boss exclaims, "No personal calls on company time!"