Five Years One Day Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Five Years One Day

View 51 - 60 results for five years one day comic strips. Discover the best "Five Years One Day" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #twitter, #social media, #tweet, #communication, #troll, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I finally signed up for Twitter. Sending my first tweet. Uh-oh. What the??? It seems I have opened some sort of portal to Hell. Demons are streaming through the portal!!! I have never seen such horrible thoughts! Gaaaa!!! Dilbert: How was your first day on Twitter? Carol: I'm already addicted to it.

Death By Ninjas Is Best

Thank you for voting.
Death By Ninjas Is Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ninja, #hit man, #optimism, #frustration, #irony

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.

One Problem Becomes Two

Thank you for voting.
One Problem Becomes Two - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #complaint, #belief, #Opinion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Today a dozen people got angry at me because they believed I was privately thinking the opposite of what I was saying. Why can't people just listen to my words?? Dogbert: Have you tried not being boring? Dilbert: Whenever I tell you I have one problem, I leave with two.

Can't Remember Wally's Project

Thank you for voting.
Can't Remember Wally's Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #language, #jargon, #obliviousness, #bluff, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't remember what project you're working on. Wally: I'm integrating parallel platforms for load balancing across incremental networks. Boss: Keep doing that. I can never tell when I'm having a good day.

No Plans To Reorganize

Thank you for voting.
No Plans To Reorganize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #reorganization, #rumor, #insult, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that management is thinking about reorganizing the department. But reorganizing would obviously be a smart thing to do. Dilbert: Then why are you not considering it? Boss: This is exactly why no one likes you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #argument, #arguing, #accusation, #social media, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Why did you say we don't have a budget for our project? Dilbert: I never said that. Man: Then why did you say the project isn't feasible? Dilbert: I never said anything like that. Man: But you did say you thought it would take ten years to finish? Dilbert: I've never said anything like that. Man: Hahaha! You're in total meltdown mode now. Dilbert: I already forgot what we were talking about. Boss: How was your talk with Dilbert? Man: He's backpedaling after I totally owned him.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuses, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?

Good Day At Work

Thank you for voting.
Good Day At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #work, #morale, #engagment, #boredom, #anger, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: On a good day, the frustration and anger solve for the boredom. Dogbert: What's a bad day like? Dilbert: Same as a good day but with more questions.

Smartphone Syndrome

Thank you for voting.
Smartphone Syndrome - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #smart phone, #compulsion, #addiction, #attention, #distraction, #mental health, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of smartphone syndrome. One of hundred percent of your mental and physical problems are caused by using your phone too much. I don't feel as if I'm getting through to you. Alice texting: She's still talking. LOL.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #productivity, #progress, #project, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.