Elbonian Database Comic Strips - Page 6

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219 Results for Elbonian Database

View 51 - 60 results for elbonian database comic strips. Discover the best "Elbonian Database" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2006's comic on:


Tags #manager, #mp3, #obliviousness, #outsourcing, #product, #quality, #trade off, #elbonian factory, #mp3 player

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"Here's our prototype from the Elbonian factory." "Well, I'm no expert, but this is obviously a good one of these." "It's an mp3 player." "We used to call them plumber's helpers!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2007's comic on:


Tags #elbonian, #factory, #million dollars, #competition, #office, #rebel attack

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Dilbert: Rebels have threatened to attack our Elbonian factory unless we give them a million dollars. The Boss: "That's outrageous! Tell them their competition offered to not attack us for half that price." Negotiations begin Elbonian: "That wouldn't even cover our costs of not attacking!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2007's comic on:


Tags #elbonian branch, #in my own country, #see you inperson, #mud, #work long hours, #wear dockers

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The Boss: I'll be managing the Elbonian branch office but I'll be based in my own country. "I'll never see you in person but I want you all to work long hours and wear Dockers." "What is he doing?" Elbonian: "Sometimes we use mud to muffle laughter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2007's comic on:


Tags #elbonian divison, #do any work, #every minute, #hidden cameras, #randomly fire, #evil, #buttocks tingle

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The Boss: My Elbonian division won't do any work unless someone is watching them every minute. Catbert: "Tell them you have hidden cameras." "Then randomly fire one Elbonian per week." The Boss: "Hee-hee! Evil makes my buttocks tingle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #data werewolves, #elbonian hackers, #entrails, #linkedin, #passwords, #servers, #supernatural beings, #usernames

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Mordac: Elbonian hackers stole a million usernames and passwords from our servers. So I send an army of data werewolves to track down the perpetrators and eat their entrails. Boss: How did you find an army of data werewolves? Mordac: LinkedIn

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fear, #violence, #inspection, #elbonian facility, #disputed territory, #totalitarian state, #north elbonia, #forshadowing

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Boss: I need you to do a site inspection at our Elbonian facility. It's located in a disputed territory on the border of the totalitarian state of North Elbonia. Was that enough foreshadowing or should I say something about how they treat spies? Dilbert: No, you nailed it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #crs database, #sibs data base, #wrong data

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The Boss says, "Use the CRS database to size the market." Dilbert says, "That data is wrong." The Boss says, "Then use the sibs database." Dilbert says, "That data is also wrong." The Boss says, "Can you average them?" Dilbert says, "Sure. I can multiply them too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #elbonian spies, #stole lap top, #confidentail data, #virus, #destroy morale, #hope, #business plan

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Dilbert says, "Elbonian spies stole my laptop and all of our confidential data." Dilbert says, "But don't worry, because I placed a virus in there that will destroy their morale and their hope." Dilbert says, "I believe you call it your 'business plan.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bought company, #discriminate, #non elbonian, #hatless spawn, #satans bowels, #elbonian company

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The Boss says, "An Elbonian company bought our company yesterday." Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "They promise they won't discriminate against non-Elbonians." An Elbonian says, "Hey, hatless spawn of Satan's bowels, put a head on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #new elbonian management, #not discriminate, #non elbonians, #belief system, #level as livestock, #wrong hoof, #new superior

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An Elbonian says, "I assure you that your new Elbonian management will not discriminate against non-Elbonians." Someone says, "Doesn't your belief system hold that all non-Elbonians are on the same level as livestock?" The Elbonian says, "Someone is starting off on the wrong hoof with his new supervisor."