Total Quality Method Comic Strips - Page 6

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212 Results for Total Quality Method

View 51 - 60 results for total quality method comic strips. Discover the best "Total Quality Method" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #quality school, #quality black master, #title metaphoric, #breakout session, #pre course reading

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The Boss tells Wally, "After I graduate from 'Quality School' I'll be a quality black-belt master." Wally asks, "Is the title metaphoric, or is there a chance you'll be beaten senseless during a breakout session?" The Boss slices the air with his hands as if he were practicing karate and thinks, "Zip zip zip zip." The Boss hits Wally and knocks him to the floor. Wally asks, "Was that necessary?" The Boss replies, "I'm not sure. I haven't done the pre-course reading yet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #let me telecommute, #called in sick, #total days off, #working for nothing, #ahead in principle, #stupidity is principle

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Dilbert, who is wearing a bathrobe, tells Dogbert, "I convinced my boss to let me telecommute." Dogbert asks, "How?" Dilbert replies, "Well, technically, I called in sick, which comes out of my time bank for total days off." Dilbert continues, "So, technically, I'm working for nothing, but I'm ahead in principle." Dogbert says, "WAY ahead, now that stupidity is a principle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #calculated, #total time, #humans wait, #web pages, #information age, #big plot, #web is plot, #normal society

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Dogbert sits on the couch. Dilbert says, "I calculated the total time that humans have waited for Web pages to load . . ." Dilbert continues, "It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age." Dilbert says, "Sometimes I think the Web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, he's on to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #no contact, #employed, #Wally, #total loyalty

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Catbert says to Wally, "The company has no implied contract to keep you employed, Wally." Catbert says, "But we expect total loyalty out of you." Wally says, "I really, really wish you wouldn't do your face-stretching exercises here every morning." Catbert stretches his mouth out wide and thinks, "1-2-3..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #quality of life, #catalogued, #prioritized, #list, #behaviors, #unacceptable, #bonanza, #toenails, #soup, #onion

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Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells him, "Dogbert, I've found a way to improve the quality of life around here." Dilbert holds a long list. He explains, "I've catalogued and prioritized all of the things that bother me." Dilbert hands him the list and says, "Study the list so you'll know what behaviors are unacceptable." Dogbert looks at the list and says, "Wow! Thanks! This is a real bonanza!" Dogbert continues, "You're right. This certainly will improve the quality of my life!" Dogbert continues, "I think I'll do a 'Top Hundred' countdown. This could amuse me for months." Dilbert thinks, "That didn't go as well as I'd hoped." Dilbert sits at the table eating a bowl of soup. Dogbert sits on the table in front of him and says, "Number 73: 'Clipping my toenails near your soup.'" Dilbert says, "That had better be an onion there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #top priority, #project classified, #email, #project not feasible, #quality festival

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As Dilbert is working on the computer, The Boss comes over and says, "I fought to get your project classified as our top priority." Dilbert turns around and asks, "Did you get my e-mail saying the project isn't feasible?" The boss walks off and thinks, "I'll wait until tomorrow to tell him he's chairman of the 'quality festival'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1998's comic on:


Tags #real boss, #prison tube, #spaceship, #wear shorts, #quality of work, #replaced by alien, #boss is alien, #no one knows

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Alien The Boss, with his tail wagging behind him, walks through the office thinking, "No one really suspects that the real Boss is on a prison tube on my spaceship." Asok the Intern asks, "Is it okay if I wear shorts?" Alien The Boss responds, "Sure. I only care about the quality of your work." Asok, Alice, and Dilbert eating lunch. Asok asks, "If our boss were replaced by an alien, would that be such a bad thing?" Dilbert replies, "It depends on the alien."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1998's comic on:


Tags #alice, #recipient, #of stone of quality, #motivational rock, #says thanks, #costs engraved, #knocks out boss, #police arrive, #find rock

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Alice sits at the computer. The Boss hands her a rock. The boss says, "Alice, you're the first recipient of the motivational "stone of quality"." The boss says, "It cost a thousand dollars to have it engraved. It's my way of saying "thanks"." The boss lies on the floor with a large bump on his head. Two cops lean over him. Alice peers around the corner. One of the cops, "There's no weapon, but I found this cool motivational rock."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all day meetings, #cutting staff, #giving stats reports, #layers, #quality team meeting, #root cause, #slow computers, #slow design, #wild guesses

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Dilbert: Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting. Dilbert: Today we'll try to identify the root cause of our slow design process. Wally: Let me take some wild guesses here. Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff. Wally: we spend all out time giving status reports to unnecessary layers of management!! Wally: ow we're having all -day meetings to talk about our efficiency!! Dilbert: I was kinda hoping for some thing that inst anybody fault. Our computers are too slow. we need new ones, Dilbert: now we're getting someplace.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #avoid completing, #do it right, #does anything, #fear of mistakes, #higher quality, #inspire, #morale low, #new philosophy, #paralyzed, #punish anybody, #realize mistakes, #value opinion, #victims

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Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new philosophy is 'We do it right the first time.'" The Boss continues, "This will inspire you to higher quality because you'll realize mistakes are not tolerated." Dilbert says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Since mistakes are inevitable, wouldn't your philosophy