Unemployment Benefits Comic Strips - Page 6

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

62 Results for Unemployment Benefits

View 51 - 60 results for unemployment benefits comic strips. Discover the best "Unemployment Benefits" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #economy, #fear, #policies, #evil, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "The employees are scared shirtless about losing their jobs." Catbert says, "This is a good time to cut their benefits and roll out some Draconian corporate policies." Dilbert says, "'In the event of a bomb threat, the employees are expected to shield the servers with their bodies.'" Wally says, "I miss my shirt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #confused, #battery, #stealing, #electricity, #revenge

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "What's on your back?" Wally says, "It's a battery." Wally says, "I recharge it at work with company electricity, then I use it at night to power my home appliances." Wally says, "If they cut my benefits one more time, I'll make a play for their water too."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #information, #confidential, #joking, #angry, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "I need you to keep this information to yourself. Can you do that?" Dilbert says, "Well, obviously I'd have to weigh the benefits of sharing it versus the risk of getting caught." Dilbert says, "It's sort of a dumb question if you think about it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #idea, #pitch, #bored, #time, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our next presenter is Dilbert." Dilbert says, "I put together a slide show and video." Dilbert says, "While it's running, I'll perform a humorous rap song about the benefits of our product." Dilbert says, "Then each of you will wear a funny hat and participate in a skit." Dilbert says, "Later we'll enjoy a ventriloquist who dresses in a beaver suit and threatens to eat his dummy." Dilbert says, "We'll top it off with a trivia contest, prizes, fireworks in the atrium." Man says, "What can you do in two minutes? We need to catch a plane." Dilbert thinks, "I should have gone with the slide show." Man says, "Mmph"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil wind blowing, #dark soul, #evil director, #human resources, #employee survey, #over reacted, #well being, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"I feel an evil wind blowing my way." "My soul is filling with darkness...Suddenly I am cold, oh, so cold." Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Hello-o-o, Asok." "GAAA!!! What are you doing here?!!" "It's time for the annual Employee Satisfaction Survey." "Perhaps I overreacted. I don't see how this could possibly be bad." "It is evident from these questions that you care about my wellbeing!" "I love the part where they think I'm here to help." Purr Purr Two Weeks Later "They're delighted with their benefits. It looks like we can save some money there."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2014's comic on:


Tags #human body, #love, #rodents, #hugs, #without hassle, #oxytocin, #levels, #cuddles, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I want the health benefits of hugging without the hassle of a relationship. This rat is like a patch that increases my ocytocin levels. Rat: I thought we were in love. Wally: That's your oxytocin talking.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free food, #bus service, #massages, #smart, #ambitious people, #earplugs

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free bus service, #telecommuniting

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a guy who worked at Google because he said he was driven. Dilbert: Because they have free bus service? Has he shown up for work yet? Boss: I thought he was telecommuting.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Human Contact Through Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #loneliness, #antisocial, #people, #introvert, #social media, #communication, #isolation, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.