Would Have Worked Comic Strips - Page 6

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1000 Results for Would Have Worked

View 51 - 60 results for would have worked comic strips. Discover the best "Would Have Worked" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #blood pressure screening, #below company average, #get away with

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FREE BLOOD PRESSURE SCREENING TODAY blod pressure screening, below average, more work, Dilbert and the boss are in line to have their blood pressure taken. The boss is holding some folders. Over the head of the woman who is taking Dilbert's blood pressure hangs a board that reads: "Free blood pressure screening today" The woman says to Dilbert: "135 over 88." The boss hands some folders to Dilbert and says: "You're bellow the company average. Here's some more work." Dilbert looks surprised. The boss is behind Dilbert, who is walking all worked up and angry. The boss says to Dilbert: "How long did you think you could get away with that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #mahage, #sadistic game show host, #insane, #didn't work, #rather have performance, #pecked to death, #trained birds

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The Boss says to Alice, "I've decided to manage like a sadistic game show host." The Boss continues, "Because it would be insane if I kept doing what didn't work." The Boss asks Alice, "Would you rather have a performance review or be pecked to death by trained birds?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company identified, #deadly falling satelites, #investigative reporter, #plan worked, #falling satellites, #hit target, #boss thought plnned

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The Boss sits at home watching the evening news on television. "Our investigtive reporter has identified the company behind the deadly falling satellites." The television sounds: "Whump!" The next day at the office, the Boss says to Dilbert "Your plan worked." Dilbert replies, "What plan?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #disaster recovery plan, #help! help!, #hope to have budget

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Alice says, "Our disaster recovery plan goes something like this..." Alice points to a picture of a man screaming "Help! Help!" Alice continues, "Someday we hope to have a budget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bugs, #database, #not to learn, #put bugs back in, #strong desire, #apathetic

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Asok hands a piece of paper to The Boss. Asok says, "I worked all weekend to get the bugs out of the database." The Boss replies, "But now the data makes us look bad. Put back the bugs." Asok says to Wally, "Can you teach me to be apathetic like you?" Wally responds, "Only if you have a strong desire not to learn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demonstrate, #life to have meaning, #wrong place, #can't do that, #meeting, #presentation, #business

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "I'd like to demonstrate some things we can't do." The coworker responds, "I don't care about things you can't do." Dilbert says, "I know, but it makes a better demonstration this way." The coworker exclaims, "I want my life to have meaning!" Dilbert points out and says, "You came to the wrong place." Dilbert adds, "Can't do that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #have none, #intern, #know how, #semi colons, #skills, #teaching, #tech suport, #useful skills, #cubicle, #education

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Tina pokes her head into Asok's cubicle and says to him: "Asok, can you help me install an ethernet card?" Asok says to Tina: "Tina, I am not your personal tech support." Tina says: "But you know how to do it and I don't." Asok says: "Well...that is true." Tina says to Asok: "Could you carry the PC to my new cubicle? It's too heavy for me." Tina says: "Someday I'll repay you by teaching you about semicolons." Asok says: "How come I have many useful skills and you have none?" Tina answers: "I guess I'm just lucky." Asok carries the computer looking angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demoted, #one of the little people, #buddy, #anger, #eyebrows, #worked, #years, #snap out of it

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Headline: Demoted. The Boss says to Dilbert, "Hey buddy, can you teach me to be one of the little people?" Dilbert replies, "Buddy? My name is Dilbert. I worked for you for years." The Boss says, "Okay, now I'll try. Am I doing the eyebrows right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #have mail, #twelve years, #glistens, #envelope, #happy, #awed

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Wally and Dilbert are in the mail room. Wally says, "I have mail! I've never had mail in twelve years here." Wally continues, "It's not addressed to me but it was in my box so I'm keeping it." Dilbert asks, "No mail for twelve years?" Wally responds, "If I hold it just right it glistens."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #ring thingy, #grew up and moved away, #worked well, #children grew, #while working

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The Boss is sitting at his desk. The phone rings. The Boss thinks, "Ringy thingy." The Boss picks up the phone. The voice at the other end says, "While you were working, your children grew up and moved away." After the phone call, The Boss sits and thinks, "I've never had a plan that worked so well."