Business People Comic Strips - Page 6
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1000 Results for Business People
View 51 - 60 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 27,
2014
Tags efficiency experts, stress, consultant, booze muhkidney, travel work, unhealthy food, total failure, sleepless nights, power point slides, business
Transcript
Consultant: All I do is travel, work, and eat unhealthy food. I'm a total failure at managing my own life, and yet people hire me for business advice. I haven't slept since October. Dilbert: I was told there would be PowerPoint slides. Consultant from Booze Muhkidney
Saturday September 06,
2014
Tags big business, mergers & acquisitions, worry, short poition, cartoon cat, bloom county, Comic Strip, mantra, bill ackman, stocks, defective people
Transcript
Dilbert: Bill Ackman just took a huge short position in our stock. Boss: I"m not worried about a cartoon cat from an old "Bloom County" comic strip. Dilbert: Maybe I care too much. Wally: That is the mantra of all defective people.
Friday October 24,
2014
Tags business school, context, lists, ranking, rankings, list, votes, schools
Transcript
Boss: The new business school rankings are out. Dilbert: Is that the list that is based on the votes of people who have no direct knowledge of those schools? Boss: You ruin everything. Dilbert: Context is not your friend.
Sunday January 18,
2015
Tags arguing, job, job description, managers, manipulation, taking advantage, task, whiney quitter, resourceful entrepreneur, personal growth, outside the box, key to greatness, assigning wrong people, mow lawn, business
Transcript
Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.
Tuesday February 03,
2015
The Evil Robot Business
Tags business ethics, ceo, evil, executives, robot, sell robots, manipulate owners, titanium bolts
Transcript
Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.
Tuesday March 03,
2015
Tall People Earn More
Tags anger, discrimination, fairness, height, money, salary, wages, Women, tall people, short people, performance reviews, height accordingly, female workers
Transcript
CEO: Studies show that tall people earn more than shorter people. So instead of doing performance reviews this year, we'll just measure your height and pay accordingly. And, of course, Alice will earn ten percent less than the men. I think that's a law.
Wednesday December 09,
2015
The Problem Is People
Tags failure, human factor, human error, people, misanthrope, misanthropic, teamwork
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.
Friday March 04,
2016
Business Plan History
Tags business plan, futile, futility, goal, guest artist, logic, plan, john glynn
Transcript
Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.
Friday April 29,
2016
People Are Terrible
Tags hate, human error, interpersonal, introvert, misanthropy, people, antisocial
Transcript
Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.
Saturday September 17,
2016
Telling People How To Do Their Jobs
Tags job, quality assurance, misunderstanding, micromanage, business
Transcript
Alan, From Quality Assurance. Boss: Is it true that the only thing you have been doing is assuring people we have quality? Alan: I don't like to tel people how to do their jobs. Boss: Telling people how to do their jobs is literally your job. Alan: In that case, stop doing all of this.

