Dilbert: I'm sick of listening to whiny idiots. Do you have a pill for that? Doctor: I sure do! I took a handful of them this morning and I feel great in spite of your complaining! How funny would it be if I make you run on a treadmill until you pass out?
Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.
Dogbert: I took the liberty of updating your estate plan. Dilbert: This gives you a powerful incentive to kill me so you can inherit my stuff. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, that option has always been on the table.
Boss: Did I remember to tell you before you finished the coding that the user's specifications changed? Dilbert: AAAIII-YIIIII-YIIII-YIII!!! Boss: So, no-ish? Dilbert: BAM! BAM! BAM!
Dilbert:you scheduled the end of the test phase after the start of the production phase.
we're feeling confident.
Dilbert: ist too bad that being smart doesn't come with some sort of good feeling like that.
Dilbert: I'm considering becoming an idiot so I can get the health benefits of happiness. It comes with a social stigma, but that's not a problem if I'm not aware that I'm an idiot. I feel healthy today, so there's a good chance I already made the transition. Dogbert: Yep.
Boss: I no longer understand anything my employees say. I must be so out of touch with technology that I don't even recognize the words. Wally: I flushed the gravitons out of the warp drive and rebalanced the subspace responders.
Dilbert: There was a consensus in that room that you're not important, so we started without you.
we hate you for disrespecting us with your lateness and we expect you'll be lost and confused by th rest of this meeting.
Alice: in summary, lateness is one of those things that doesn't work for everyone.
Dogbert: I made a list of demands for you new year's resolutions.
Dilbert: Thous salt not fill up the DVR with geeky science shows. ....Thou shalt not snore like an asthmatic cow....
I didn't know other people could impose resolutions on me,
Dogbert: Its a new thing.
