Cell Division Comic Strips - Page 6
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168 Results for Cell Division
View 51 - 60 results for cell division comic strips. Discover the best "Cell Division" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 29,
2012
Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #telephones, #vendor, #hardware, #field, #pony, #ask alice, #winners, #bad connection
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, listen carefully. I need you to... vendor... hardware... immediately. Dilbert: What? We have a bad connection. Boss: Field... the... grep... pony... budget. Dilbert: What? What? Boss: I have another call. Just ask Alice. Alice: How would I know what he wants? Leave me alone. Dilbert: I wonder how winners feel. Wally: I don't know. They never let me touch them.
Tuesday February 14,
2012
Tags #computer, #control computer, #invention, #inventions, #mind, #mobile (cell) phones, #phone, #power, #brain reader, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain reader invention allows me to control any nearby computer. Co-worker: That's nothing! My phone can... Dilbert: I did that with my mind. Co-worker: That's nothing! I made you do it!
Monday February 27,
2012
Tags #internet & world wide web, #ideas, #wine, #liquid lunch, #tweet, #down trodden, #sense of humor, #twitter, #cell phone, #office, #technology
Transcript
BAD IDEA Boss: I should drink wine at lunch more often. WORSE IDEA I'm in the mood to tweet. WORST IDEA I hope the down-trodden have a sense of humor.
Friday May 04,
2012
Tags #inventions, #tazer, #cell phone, #boss's desk, #tased, #technology
Transcript
Wally: I invented a taser that looks exactly like a cellphone. Boss: Gaaa-a-a-a-a-a-a. Wally: I left it on our boss's desk, but it sounds like he's done with it.
Tuesday July 11,
1989
Tags #love, #poetry, #finish, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk writing a poem. Dogbert approaches and asks, "How's that poem coming?" Dilbert says, "Pretty good, but I may have written myself into a corner." Dogbert says, "Let's hear." Dilbert says, "All I have so far is 'Her love was like a wave-division multiplexor.'" Dogbert says, "Maybe just go for the big finish."
Saturday December 12,
1992
Tags #the boss, #alice, #Dilbert, #video game, #plateau, #Kids, #outside, #diversify, #pollute
Transcript
The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our video game division has reached a sales plateau." The Boss continues, "Kids are spending more time outside these days. There's only one thing we can do." Dilbert asks, "Diversify?" The Boss replies, "Pollute!"
Monday August 02,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #volunteers, #cell phone, #ratbert, #car salespeople
Transcript
Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "With oxygen and food nearly depleted, the Bioworld volunteers become philosophical." Dogbert and Ratbert communicate using cellular phones. Ratbert says, "Some of the volunteers think that because they're car salespeople you don't value their lives . . ." Dogbert says, "If that were true, how can you explain that we put you in there too?" Ratbert says, "That's what I said, but it didn't seem to cheer them up."
Wednesday October 06,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #Wally, #computer, #office
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk in front a window thinking, "I've shouted my way into a job and a corner office. Now I need an empire." Dogbert says as he types, "I'll start a task force around some hot buzzwords. Later I'll convert the people into my own division." Dilbert says to Wally, "Hey, there's a 'Palmtop Personal Multimedia' task force being formed!" Wally replies, "That one's gonna fill up quick."
Thursday June 01,
1995
Tags #cell phone, #laptop, #allow work, #lug around, #worry, #broken, #stolen, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "My cellular phone and laptop computer allow me to work any time and anyplace . . ." Dogbert asks, "While driving?" Dilbert answers, "Too dangerous." Dogbert asks, "In restaurants?" Dilbert answers, "Too rude." Dogbert asks, "Outdoors?" Dilbert answers, "Nope." Dogbert concludes, "Basically, you lug them around and worry that they'll get stolen or broken." Dilbert fondles his laptop and says, "Stop it. You're scaring them."
Monday May 13,
1996
Tags #being bought, #long time rival, #layoffs, #engineers, #divison, #what we do, #younger
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "The company announced we're being bought by our long-time rival." Alice, Wally and Dilbert look surprised. The Boss continues, "Don't worry about layoffs. They like engineers. In fact, they already have a division that does what we do!" Alice throws her hands up, Wally yanks at his tie and Dilbert covers his eyes. The Boss continues, "Except they're younger and they aren't paid as much as we are . . ." Alice's hair jumps off her head, Wally's skeleton comes out of his mouth and Dilbert's head spins around.