Ceo Needs Underling Comic Strips - Page 6
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735 Results for Ceo Needs Underling
View 51 - 60 results for ceo needs underling comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Needs Underling" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 10,
2015
Ceo Buys People On The Internet
Tags #book, #internet, #friends, #struggle, #buying friends, #fake, #technology
Transcript
CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.
Saturday July 11,
2015
Ceo Is Slave Owner
Tags #slave, #slaves, #slavery, #buying, #pay, #wages, #housework, #house servant, #maid, #maids, #help, #money
Transcript
Wally: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: No, nothing like that. All I did was buy some Elbonians on the Internet. Wally: Do they clean your house without pay? CEO: I assume they're a tidy people.
Thursday July 30,
2015
Ceo Is On Nine Boards
Tags #board, #board member, #power, #bragging, #focus, #attention
Transcript
CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.
Wednesday September 09,
2015
Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing
Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.
Thursday September 24,
2015
Ceo Compensation
Tags #money, #worth, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #fair, #pay, #expenses, #saving, #rich people, #executives
Transcript
Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.
Monday September 26,
2016
Ceo Sits On His Wallet
Tags #complaining, #perspective, #suffering, #competition
Transcript
CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.
Wednesday October 12,
2016
Internet Wants Ceo To Die
Tags #anger, #shame, #unpopular, #popularity, #public relations, #gawker
Transcript
CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.
Thursday December 08,
2016
Ceo Fixes His Problem
Tags #product safety, #danger, #battery, #recall, #cell phone, #samsung, #media, #Entertainment, #technology
Transcript
CEO: The press says I need to resign because of our exploding phones fiasco. Dilbert: Maybe you can change their minds by sending the press our new model that doesn't explode. CEO: I already sent them the exploding phones and said it was our new models. Your way left too much to chance.
Monday August 28,
2017
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks
Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification
Transcript
CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?
Friday October 06,
2017
Ceo Uses Dating App
Tags #dating, #app, #technology, #tinder, #match, #cheating, #adultery, #eskimo brothers, #relationships
Transcript
CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!